The end of the year....

Tomorrow signals the end fo the year and a new beginning. I am always curious as to what the future will bring. This year was a big one fo rus. Don and I bought our first home along with taking over and buying the family store from his parents. We watched our oldest daughter move into young women's...gasp! i went to Girl's Camp for the first time and really enjoyed myself. I learned a bit about myself and what talents lie within me. I learned that sometimes when those talents make it onto paper I can truly make people smile...the best. Sigh! I have learned that making a quilt will not kill me. I have learned my family is the most beautiful thing in my life and if Don and I lean on each other, nothing can't be accomplished. I am grateful for the trials in my life that turn me into a better person. I am grateful for my blessings and I am grateful for a child who is not my own that hands me a paper covered in crayon markings telling me that they missed me when I was gone. So, I raise a glass of sparkling cider to you all and propose a toast: "To who we were, to who we are & to who we may soemday become!" Happy New Year to you all!!!

Get your hot buttered popcorn here!!!!

Well Christmas had come and gone and to be honest I am grateful. I am grateful for all the many customers that came in giving us a more successful year than last even in this crazy economy. I am grateful that the presents are open and that I am done with Christmas and I am truly grateful that my daughter did not throw and incredible tantrum when I realized that her present never made it off of back order and I did indeed owe her one more present. Ah the fun of motherhood. For those of you wondering my hubby has given up the diamonds this year and bought me a more fun gift to cheer me up after the whole Jeep fiasco..which by the way is on its way to being completely finished in the next couple weeks. So, now I have my own personal popcorn trolley giving em the ability to make my own theater popcorn here at home. It is just a little silliness to complete our home entertainment craziness. AS soon as we get our pinball machine we will actually be a teen's hangout paradise. the only thing missing is the pool table...but I have a plan brewing....

That's what it is all about....

I just received this picture from one of the girls that i know at church. This is my oldest daughter and I at Girl's Camp. I guarantee you that i have more fashion sense than this, but when you head into the kitchen at 6 am and don't escape until nearly 9pm fashion simply must be adjusted...

you can see by my daughter's face that she was having the time of her life. That truly was my hopes. I can't tell you how nervous I was, but when we were on the drive home she said that it was the most incredible feeling to be able to be her self as a daughter of God and not have to worry about other judging her by her standards because they all had the exact same beliefs. She is so looking forward to next year because she calls it her vacation from the outside world. She told me that she found her testimony during that week. Yes, I teared up which made it difficult to drive, but what could I do?! I can't wait until Girl's Camp next year!!! So, exciting!!!!

Here we come a carolin'...

We had a great time last night caroling with a large group of families. Don and I were worn to bits, after a long day serving many Christmas shoppers, but we had a wonderful time. My kids whined in the beginning of the day: "We don't WANT to go caroling!!!" Then they tried to put their foot down and tell us they were not going. I replied back in my most extremely stern mother's voice that they were going. Then "the look" came. You know the one...whenever your mother wanted to get her point across. I am not sure when we acquire that ability to give "the look"...perhaps that is why labor is so hard! Anyway, I told the kids that we were going and there was nothing they were going to do about it. So, after work I dragged myself into the kitchen and scrambled up some eggs while Corinna made all the toast. We ate dinner went and filled up the car with gas and then headed over. Apparently, the kids had no idea what we were planning on doing and with whom. They had a blast! They were still singing when we came home and can't wait until next year!!!

Seriously, BFF's rule!!!

I have to tell you that I have had so much support that I never knew that I had. it's just one of those crazy things that we can't control and all we can do is our best. Whatever the outcome is then we will deal with it. If this last financial thing doesn't work then I will just put it all on hold until I have the money to pay cash. That would make me incredibly happy to be perfectly honest, but what can I do? Anyway, I wanted to thanks all your kind notes. You see, that is what the truth is...it's just a car, but friends will last for an eternity!!!! I love you all!!!

It's Ba-ack!!!!!

Did you know that it is a law that when you turn in car for trade in that the dealer is not allowed to sell the car to another person until after the financing is settled? Neither did I!!!! So, I was surprised to get a call from the dealership and have our good friend Manual, who has been helping us all this time, to tell me that my old plum escort wagon was not only back, but it had a large amount of repairs done on it. Apparently, they sold the car way too soon and ended up having to buy it back from a small dealership that had already put $400 of their own money into fixing it up (which in our money is like $800 or more). What's more is that since the repairs were done and it did not belong to me at the time I did not have to pay for the repairs. They had replaced the broken windshield done a tune up and an oil change, they adjusted the timing belt which needed to be done and it looks like they replaced the thermostat that caused us to overheat and what started the entire buying process in the first place. I can not believe it!!!!! My little plum car is back for now...mostly repaired...and I have use of it to run my errands, until the rest of the financing comes through and then I will try and get the Jeep back. the owner told the mechanics to do the once over very slowly to give us time to check into it all working. If not then we will just deal with it. I am grateful for what has occurred, but surprised at the same time. I thought the license plate put on it was appropriate:

I guess the Goofmobile is back in action!!!!

A New Day

I am still a bit bleary eyed, waking up, but I am doing well. All is quiet in the house. The kids and hubby are still snoozing away in their beds. I enjoy the quiet of the mornings where all is heard is the clicks and clacks of our gas heater keeping us toasty through the night. So, for the past few days I have shared the stress and craziness of my life and to be honest I am feeling good here. I feel good that I have gotten the Jeep back to the dealership while I sort everything out. I feel confident that everything happens for a reason and though we don't always know what that reason is I can appreciate that there is that reason for it all. I don't know and perhaps will never know,but I can live with that for now. I know how it will happen in the end. After giving Heavenly father a big hug upon my return from my adventure here on this earth I will ask him. "Hey! What was the deal with the Jeep?" So, we will continue on and not worry about the little things that cannot be figured out here on the earth. I have learned to shrug those things off afterwards. Sometimes , it is just not worth clinging to questions that can't be answered right here, right now.

The sad sad news!!!

Well, to be honest it is a very sad day that i had to bring the Jeep back to the dealership. i don't blame them for wanting it back when the financing backs out. I am so upset at the people promising to watch over us and then just because we own our own store they don't want to take a chance. Well, I did find a lender who is taking care of it for us but it will take a couple weeks to get it finished. Now, please understand that I am completely calm. My soul feels fine.I have no worries about it. Once we finish the financing we will head back and perhaps my sweet little Jeep will still be there. The sweet man at the dealership said he would get the people in charge of maintenance to work veeerrrrryyyyy slowly just to give me a couple weeks to get it all done. I can appreciate that. So that is where I am at. One car between us, but that is fine. There is truly no reason to panic or throw a temper tantrum. i feel good handling it with my head held high. From here on out we shall see what happens!!!!

Update

Well, we are down to one person willing to attempt to help us out. We shall see what happens, but I feel the calmness inside that tells me everything is happening according to they way it is supposed to. Whether good or bad I have no idea, but at least we have got the fact that I feel we are on the track that we are supposed to be. Until I find out what it is I will carry on. I truly do understand the other finance companies position. With the craziness and foreclosures on the part of the real estate market they are clamping down much harder on those of us who are really trying. I truly do want to stomp my feet and scream "It's not fair!" That would do me no good to be perfectly honest. I mean on the outside it would make me feel better, but it won't change the facts of what is happening. I have cleaned out the car and I am ready to take it back tonight if it so be. For now though, I will look at the good things in my life. I have three healthy children, well except for the little sniffles from their colds. I have a good sturdy house to live in. I own my own store, which can be a curse as well as a blessing sometimes, but what can I do? I have a husband that loves me and friends that care. I have the ability to worship my Heavenly Father and serve without fear of repercussion from the government. I have food on my table and a full tummy at night when I sleep. I think that is all that I need to think of. We shall see what happens, but for now that is enough to think of the good things.

Utterly and completely frustrated!!!

I tell you, I held myself through the little problems with getting a new window installed because my darling daughter was playing golf in the house with a bouncy ball. I didn't blink an eye when the repairs for the well pump and it turned out to just be a short. I really handled myself well. Unfortunately, I lost it today when I found out that over a month after agreeing to fund us for the purchase of our new car Capital One decided that we were unworthy of their financial services because we just bought a store and cannot prove that we have been self employed for more than two years. I am so frustrated so it looks like my favorite little Jeep will need to go bye bye tomorrow night...unless a miracle happens. I feel calm in my heart, but I feel like I have been kicked while I was down. I do have some people working on it and are destined to share the fate of my dear little car tomorrow afternoon. I am just so frustrated. I know that they need proof of income, but I feel like some homeless person trying to get a handout. Perhaps I should try to raise funds that way!!! Just kidding. I just feel like I am in a tailspin and of course it comes at a time when I am the most over worked. Of course the overall feeling is that I am calm and I trust in that. I know whatever is happening I was meant to go through. It's not a problem. I will go through this and do my best to learn what I am supposed to learn. It seems that there are so many more things to worry about and this should not be one of them. We shall see what happens though. i will update when I figure out what is happening. Wish me luck!!!

Hard Road

Yesterday was certainly an adventure, but we are working through it all. The window was replaced and the problem with our pump was found and fixed costing us only a couple hundred dollars instead of the expected several thousand dollars that is associated with well pump repairs. We are still working on the financing, but a calm feeling has settled over my heart and so there is no worry there. We certainly have friends and angels watching over us at the dealership which seems quite unusual for me. Why am i mentioning all of this? Well, yesterday it seemed like a crazy hard road that we were on and quite honestly I was none too thrilled, but Don and I held our heads up and walked on dealing with everything as it came without getting too upset..although it made trips to the bathroom fairly difficult last night as well.

Anyway, more to the point...a friend came by who is not a member of our church but a good man nonetheless and he said to me: "being a Christian is hard work." he went over some of their troubles in the past year and quite honestly it was big, but no more than anyone else has to deal with. We talked for a good 5 minutes, which was the only free time I had yesterday with the holiday shoppers. He talked about his troubles and knew much of our troubles we have dealt with. He asked me if I found it hard to be a Christian all of the time. I thought about it for a second and then looked him dead in the eye and said: "I would find it harder to not be a Christian." he thought about it and understood just what I was saying. There were no judgements made on this dear man because he had never looked at it that way. He left the store with a whole new attitude. So, amongst all the trials of the day i was thankful to be given the opportunity to serve a friend and help them on the hard road they were on and realize it wasn't as hard as it would seem.

When it rains it pours!!!

Well, somehow it seems to be our turn in experiencing hardships. It's all right. I can deal with it. I bought a new car and we had the financing all set up. Apparently the company that we went through has a loophole that they cannot lend to people who have just bought their own business and haven't owned it for two years or more. I am feeling like my head is banging into a wall. I do have to say that the people at Tracy Jeep have really gone to bat and have been quite gracious through this entire process. I am frustrated but they have really been patient and are helping me beyond all belief. I truly appreciate their efforts in re-doing the financing. I HATE buying cars and now you know why!!!

Apparently though that was not quite enough to send me off kilter, but my darling children playing ball in the house have cracked a window...easily replaceable so again no reason to get too upset. So, since I didn't get too upset about that our water pump has gone out on us. Bless his sweet heart, poor Don was in the shower washing his hair when the water stopped. poor guy. I did help out and brought a pan of warm water compliments of our dear friends at Alhambra to wash his hair out. So, again people are on their way to fix that. no reason to get upset. We just deal with it and move on. perhaps the dogs got into our well house and tore the wiring out. We have no idea, but we do know that whatever happens money will be the outcome of this one. I also have been dealing with a cold that had taken my voice away much to my children and husband's happiness, but it has come back so they are no longer laughing.

Well friends...I am sorry, but I had to whine a bit and now I can just let it go and "Git R Done!"

OK! OK! I give!!!

Ok!! So I have some friendly elves trying to get me to cheer up. For those sweet elves thank you so much. I think it is just the wear and tear on my body from this cold that has got me down. I have been working hard trying to get things done around here and I am happy toannounce that I will be finishing off all my Christmas chores tomorrow. I need to mail off a package to my brother-in-law's place in Texas tomorrow and then a few gift cards for the nieces ans nephews and I can count myself finished. i am thrilled about that one!!!! I have decided to work on some homemade gifts for next year, but first I need to make sure that I get my current projects that I have on my project desk done. The girls and I are going to start on our version of crazy quilts. I have to say making perfect squares never was my strong point and being precise is just no fun to me SO, instead i am going to be working on completely random concoctions out of materials the girls have chosen. We shall see how it is all done, but we are hoping it will be a fun project for us. they can cut the different angles and I will work the materials together on the machine. Who knows? We may get it done by next Christmas!!! I'll post a picture when and if we ever get started. perhaps the few days that we have off for the new year we can get it started. We shall see. i still need to sew the buttons on my girl's camp quilt for next year!!! We shall see!!!

Holiday Blahs

Does anyone have a recipe to get rid of the holiday blahs. I am dead serious too. I guess having a cold and dealing with the store it has set me into the holiday blahs and I am none too thrilled about it but what can i do?!It also may have something to do with my cold which has taken my voice away causing me to sing like Peter Brady going through puberty. Not a thrilling sound let me tell you!!! Anyway, I am just blah like. Tomorrow I go and finish up the final gift cards of my Christmas shopping and then I will go home and work on getting the house cleaned up again. We shall see what happens. until then i will try and be cheery and bright, but I think my bulb has burnt out!!!!

A Lovely Night!!!

We were invited to a friend's house last night for dinner. To be quite honest I have a huge cold in my throat and I was feeling pretty miserable and all I wanted to do was to climb under the covers of my bed and snooze away. I know that today would be busy with Christmas Shoppers at our store so I was quite happy to regain my strength and be my pathetic self in bed. However, since we had already rsvp'd that we 'd be there we couldn't miss it. I am glad that we went because we had a great time. i would bet that it would not have been as much fun hiding from the world in my bed. It was a good night, we relaxed and ate some really great food and played a few rounds of a game. Being that I was hopped up on my cold medicine and my thoughts weren't as clear a everyone else I felt like the chips were stacked against me in any fast paced game . I did have fun though and that was the point. I could have totally OD'd on the relaxation and laughter in the room that night. It really picked me up in spirits to be able to gather with some friends.

Liposuction & Botox!!!!

Have you ever had a Christmas Season where.....? I know that we could all answer that question, but let me tell you, my holiday season is drooping down. I must say first though that i am really all right with what has happened. I can see the confusion on one aspect, but the other is just downright depressing. At the progressive dinner I was mistaken for being one of those beautiful ladies that was pregnant. Believe it or not I understand the confusion as it seems that every time we turn around there is another pregnancy announced. I am so totally thrilled for those women and thankful it is not me. We laughed at the time and honestly that hadn't bothered me. As some of you know my quick replies can sometimes take over, but all i could think of to say was: "No, sweetheart, I am not pregnant...just fat." The poor woman that asked me just about fell over when I threw that answer at her.

Today though I hit an all new low. A woman came in, looked at me and said: "Gee! I thought you retired!" She had mistaken me for my mother-in-law who is now in her 60's. That one I did have to say "Ouch!" I have to admit that I really do love my age. I am so much happier than I was in my twenties. I am only 36. It is pretty young. My kids are getting into the teen years and although that is a little nerve wracking I can handle it so much more than when I was in the baby years.

I have to admit that these insults are piling up and it is getting me starting on thinking of another book I'd like to write. Perhaps the ten worst things to say to another woman!!! Until then Botox & Lipo anyone?!?!?!

Completely and Utterly Alone...

Yes, that is what I am! I am completely and utterly alone for the first time in nearly five months. Now, before you jump to conclusions Don is taking a nap in the other room, the kids have just finished their homework and my dinner is smelling very nice in the oven. i am not in most senses alone, but most of you know that I have been working fairly diligently on my novel that started approximately five long months ago. I have worked day and night and sometimes through the night to get it going. Only one person has challenged herself to see if she could live through the boredom and I have delivered the final half that she had not read yet. Is it all over with? Oh no!!! I have plenty of re-writes to do, but this is my scariest moment...letting people outside my own mind read it. I reach anxiety attack levels unheard of by anyone else. So, we shall see how it all goes. I am giving copies to all of those in my writing group on Thursday night and then I will hide in the little cave of my mind and await their responses. If you see me in the corner hyperventilating while waiting for responses then you will know why. it turned out to be a massive 176 pages, which honestly does not sound like a lot until I actually printed them off. Amazing!!!

Well all, wish me luck!!!

Girl's Go Nuts For Wrangler Butts!!!

OK!!!! Just because nobody believed I would put that topic on my blog here it is!!! As most of you know we run our own General Store. We have a little bit of everything (animal feed, hay, horse tack, cowboy boots, ropes, spurs, belt buckles the size of a dinner plate, cattle prods for waking up your husband on time for church,and yes even Wranglers).

Today was a huge day for us. Don and I ran our booties off trying to satisfy all the Christmas shopping needs. I sold so many pairs of Wranglers to our female customers that you would not believe. Now, I have to say, the best thing about the country people is that they have a very wicked sense of humor, which suits me very well. We enjoy everyone that comes in. I get to spend all day talking to people and then I get to take their money. Sounds like the best job in the world to me!!! Anyway, we had fun with them today. We ran from one thing to another being only able to sit down for about 5 minutes all day. With the slow shopping season so far we were thankful to be keeping busy. So, when a friend stopped by today and asked if we wanted to meet them out for pizza after work I as thrilled because that meant that I did not have to cook. Now, that my friends, is some serious Christmas magic!!!!

Of course as for the title of this post I have to tell you that if y'all have never seen a cowboy wearing a pair of wranglers then ladies I have to say that you are missing out on something!!! No jeans can do what a nice pair of wranglers can for a guy.

TIme Out

OK! So, I went out for a Relief Society thing. I have had a problem wanting to do anything with Relief Society since my last ward. I had such a horrible experience in the RS presidency that I had no desire ever to go back to RS and even church for that matter. It was amazing to me that one woman could poison my heart on something that should wonderful to me. I have figured out why I feel that way and acknowledged it, but I am still left with that blah feeling. I also have a difficult time in group situations because #1 I feel like a complete and total social dork. I don't feel confident like most of the women in our ward when it comes to social situations. And then there is good ol' #2 In group situations I have a tough time hearing when there is a lot of background noise. Yes, I should truly go and get my hearing checked, but quite honestly I am only 36 years old. I don't want to think that i need a hearing aid yet!!!!

Anyway, I made a plan to attend with a friend. I know myself. I will plan on going until the very last minute and then just decide to call it off. This time I couldn't call it off since I was going with my friend. What I didn't know is that my friend truly felt the same way. We made it though and as we made our way from one house to the next I truly had a good time. the seed has been planted to regrow my love for RS. Someday I will love it. Until then, I will just try to see this all through.

What to do with a "soon to be" teen?!

Ok! I am officially feeling old as I realized my oldest daughter Corinna will be turning into a dreaded TEENAGER!!!!! What have I done to deserve this torture?!?! Well, that is what most parents say when their kids reach this point. I am of another opinion though. Truly I was not in my best senses when the kids were babies. I am not too fond of the lack of sleep, although i hear there are a lot of sleepless nights with teens too. I totally loved the day when the kids learned to make their own cereal in the morning. that was a great moment in my life. Now, here I am going from life manager to counselor. I can encourage my little girl to do things that are important, but at the same time trying to force a teen to do anything is like nailing jello to a tree. I have learned that you can counsel your child to do something but the harder you try to push them the harder they push the other direction.

My beautiful girl has a lot of enthusiasm and is a carbon copy of me when I was her age personality-wise. She is far better looking than the gangly kid I was. However, that is neither here nor there. She loves to spend time with her friends at church and loves going to mutual. She went to Girl's Camp and told me after the long week there that she had found her testimony. She is concentrating on her grades because she has a desire to attend BYU. She does get a bit over emotional at times when I explain to her that her hormones are out of whack. She then takes a second to calm herself down before we move on to finish our talk. So, I am looking forward to her being a teen as she is already a really cool kid. Now, when Molly hits...I think I will need Valium...we'll deal with that later though!!!!

The True Reason For Christmas

We decided to take Family Home Evening and spend our time up at the temple. I love to go see the lights on Monday because there aren't as many people crowding and we get a more sacred feeling for the kids. It is interesting to hear their comments as we go. I remember hearing Molly say to me: "Mom, it must cool for all those people who get to live near the temple and see it lit up all the time?" I can see glimpses of how much the church truly means to my children. we were sitting in front of the Christus in the visitor's center when all three kids plus me took pictures. It was funny to see that all four pictures of the same statue were all completely different. Corinna focused more on his face. Molly wanted his hands and face because it showed the nail prints in his hands. Bryan chose the head to toe shot because he wanted to remember all of the things Jesus did not just part so he wanted the whole picture. I thought I would print them off and put them in their stockings to remember that night. Maybe framed if I get the chance. We shall see!!! We also were blessed to see an original printing of the Book of Mormon from 1830. Allan Coates' name was inscribed on the inside and was given to him by Joseph Smith. I am assuming that Joseph wrote his name on the inside. It was very neat for the kids to see just how old it truly was and how special it was. I am grateful for our side trips on Family Home Evening where the season of Christmas can become a truly beautiful season. Merry Christmas to all!!!

Closing the laptop...

I had to close my precious laptop late the other night nearly in tears because of what I had just done. No, I did not miss the latest big sale at my favorite store, but instead I drew to an end the writing of my first novel. Ethan and Ari have been my constant companions throughout the last few months of my life here. They have whispered bin my ear things they wanted to say and how they wanted to say them. I have finished the writing process and now throw myself directly into the never ending re-writes. Someday I will finish and then what will I do with all my time. No worries. i am getting whisperings from Ari and Ethan on new adventures they are lined up to take, but I am willing to set them down for a season and write a short story about another couple that have been waiting patiently. We shall see what happens from there. I have not yet decided, but I think once all is finished and the manuscripts start heading out with publishers then I will take a break and work on my girls' quilts that we wanted to make. So much to do and so little time. For now the rain clouds bring about my mood of sadness. I will miss my friends' adventures and their companionship, but even friends need a bit of a vacation!!!!

Excitement

Well, I am updating you on my dear project. My good friends Ariana, Ethan and my truly favorite Loraly. I am so excited about how the story is turning out. I am only to page 159, but i have an update. A dear friend read it and seeing how excited she was for me almost brought tears to my eyes. This has been a labor of love for me and a practice in patience for my dear Don. While he watches his college sports I sit with my wonderful pink laptop banging away on the keys. I am getting excited about how good it has been getting. Truly I never saw anything like this when I was told what I needed to be doing in my patriarchal blessing. It has been a great experience. I can hardly wait to say it is done and over with. But, not yet!!!

I love Christmas!!!!

I just love love love this season!!! I love unpacking the decorations and letting the house gain its colors that it doesn't normally have. Our tree this year is just a plain Christmas tree. I wanted to do something different, but since I decided to do all my Christmas shopping today...except for Don's presents. I sort of ran out of the money I needed to finish. I am thrilled that our decorations are finished now. Outside we have our share of wildlife creatures, deer, moose, polar bear and even a cute little penguin. The icicle lights are hung up on the roof thanks to my sweet husband who does anything to make me happy. On most days that is!!!

I also decided to try something new and be as creative as you all out there. I tried this so I am thrilled that it turned out somewhat all right. I would love to hear your comments on it. i decided that my walls were too plain but I didn't want to put a nail in the wall and I jsut wanted to add something. So I figured a few ornaments on the wall with some ribbons. Gold seemed to be my theme color this year.

Molly also got into the fun creating this special wreath with me. we bought the kit over at Michael's and after nearly 30 minutes of cutting out petals Molly was able to put this all together by herself. So, this is her creation. Aside from the cutting it was a very easy craft which is surprising!!! Well, let us know what you think!!!!

Poncho People

Ok!!! So here is something that irks me. It is the Poncho People of the world. I am including a picture of my dear friends, Edward and Donna, whom we met over at California Adventure theme park just a few weeks ago. As we stood in line at the Grizzly Rapids Ride they pulled out ponchos for goodness sake!!!! I have always made fun of the Poncho People who ride the rides taking care not to get wet and that reminded me of life. Now, please understand I am not throwing a temper tantrum because that is how they chose to ride the ride. Don and i got completely an utterly soaked. we did not dry off until we made it home that night at nearly 2am if that gives you a clue. Anyway, What I was thinking is that there are so many of us out there who dream and dream big. I don't see anything wrong with dreaming. I like to dream. it always makes me feel good to do so. I dream of being a published author and I am working at it. Truly I am working at it. I think if this computer crashed with all 159 pages of what I have written already I would more than likely cry for days. I have noticed though that there are two types of people in the world. The Poncho People who protect themselves and don't reach out far to make their dreams come true being so cautious. then there are the dreamers who reach for it all in hopes of gaining their greatest dreams. Don's dream was to own his own store. He has reached out and grabbed it. yes, there was some divine intervention on that, but it has happened nonetheless. He is wonderful at also rooting me on for my dream. books are not his thing, but he is always supportive and understanding about my late night typing sessions. he understands that I have a lack of concentration when the words are flowing through my head. Is it easy for him to deal with. Not at all!!! He does though and for that i am grateful and always will be. So, if you are a Poncho Person out there then I pray that you are happy being who you are and live life to your fullest capacity. If you are a dreamer, then reach for what you want to be and if you don't make it then it was only because you didn't try!!!! Go dreamers!!!!

Soaring

No, I am not actually sprouting feathers and flying, but my heart feels like it. I have been writing and working on a book that has become like and entirely new life. I watch my characters like I watch my children. I have created them...in my mind though not my womb. I am letting them start to fly a bit and I think the hardest part about them flying is worrying about them crashing. I have allowed a friend and a great cheerleader read my latest draft of the 2/3 I have finished so far. I know there will be work to do with the re-writes, but I want to finally finish before I go back and rewrite it all again. Anyway, I waited for days wondering just what was thought of the story, the characters who have become so close I hear them talking. I worried what they would think about my creativity. When I finally received an e-mail I didn't want to open it because quite honestly, who wants to hear their baby criticized?! My heart completely and totally soared when I heard the review. Yes, I do know that it is not ready for publishing quite yet, but after finishing the story and polishing it, it will be and I will be thrilled with it. That is when the craziness comes. The heartbreaking waiting for letters from publishers turning you down in hopes for just one that will say yes. Someday perhaps it will be there, but until then I will let my dreams soar.

Black Friday

Most of you all know that Don & I have our store. The day after Thanksgiving is usually the one where Don tradiationally runs around in the morning hours of us being opened saying: "Where is everyone?" Due to the fact that people are normally running back and forth to the big box stores because they offer the best deals, but yesterday we were pleasantly surprised that so many people came in and bought small things here and there. The small things add up and we had a great day. Some came to just look, some came prepared to buy, but all in all we are feeling blessed by Heavenly Father. I know I am feeling terribly blessed. I hope you all had good shopping experiences!!!!

Giving Thanks

To be honest, my favorite part of today is usually the part where I take a nap after the turkey. My niece destroyed that thinking we needed activities. I love her dearly, but the thought of running around right after eating our huge thanksgiving feast with all the trimmings just did not sound all that wonderful. She put together...and well might I add...our family's version of the amazing race. There were challenges, roadblocks and detours. Some were incredibly horrible like finding certain words in a huge search a word puzzle then unscrambling what was left to target shooting with BB guns. I was teamed up with the master mind's twin and I felt bad for my niece. not only did she get stuck paired up with an aunt who could not run up a hill without wanting to fake a heart attack just so I could sit down, but i had a very tough time trying to shoot a target that was just 2 inches in diameter and shaped like a turkey. needless to say for the first leg of the race we came in a disappointing 3rd. For the second leg we took off and thanks to both of us working as a team and her incredible skills of taking shortcuts through the garage we manage to end up snagging 1st place honors and the first cuts of our favorite pies for dessert. all in all, even though I ran most of my food off in the hour long set of tasks we had a great Thanksgiving with many reason for thanks...like not having a heart attack!!!

Strange Happenings

I watched Molly tonight out in the center of the stage performing tonight and I listened to one of the things that her teacher mentioned and I took a bit of thought into it. She said that actors are truly shy on the outside but when playing a part can blossom into something incredible on stage because they don't have to be themselves. As drama geek to the core I agree completely. At this point in my life I am working very hard on a story that has brewed in my mind and hopefully developing a talent that heavenly Father has blessed me with. i am grateful to my cheerleaders...you know who you are. On several occasions I find myself lost in my own thoughts not paying attention to the outside world. I am quite content to watch the outgoing women in our ward talk and enjoy themselves and quite honestly I am not very good in the social aspect of my life. I am a geek to the core and I truly mean that. Those who are as oddball as I am understand. I truly do not feel at ease in most people's presence because I am so insecure with myself. I am overweight, not a beauty queen and taller than most amazon women. Quite honestly, I am a freak or have often felt like that. I never remember my age and can't remember dates to save my life. No I do not forget my immediate family's birthdays or my anniversary but ask me anything that revolves around a date and I am a babbling fool.
I have been working a lot lately on my writing and I am thankful that in my own little world i can change from one person to another. I can be the evil queen or the simple girl trying to cope with her past. I let myself fall so deeply into the stories that I often hear conversations in the back of my head that belong to the characters. Many times it can be in the worst times. I have found myself sitting up until 2am typing away because they will not be quiet. Luckily, my husband understands the drive that I have to get this going. I am over half way through the novel and I pray that the end comes along and that i am inspired as how to reach the goal of finishing it before I start collecting social security. We shall see, but it looks like I will be finishing up more than likely next year in hopes of trying to get it out to some publishers. We shall see, but I just figured I had better explain before you got caught up in a conversation with me and my eyes glaze over and i completely lose track of what I was even talking about. that's when my dear friends/characters are talking to me. Please forgive me if you see this happen to me. i promise to snap out of it. besides, one a social reject always a social reject.

Pure Love!!!!

I am taking a break from the cleaning and laundry that has become my Monday ritual and took a look at some of you girl's blogs. Can I just totally say how much I love your inspiration. I have plenty of old things around here that I want to change around into new things. I watch how you change an object just by a little paint and just tweak it a bit here and there. How wonderful you all are. I have a few ideas, but we shall see how they all go. I rarely have time to myself to think it all through. I have also discovered that I truly want to declutter my home as well. Perhaps changing a few things around may work...We shall see what happens. I'll take some pictures if I ever get things going!!!

It is done!!!

Well, I am happy to announce that we have a new member to our family!!!! No, I am not pregnant either!!!! I have managed to buy my first brand new car ever. Now, I know Don had gotten the truck, but we had priorities with that. He needed a good truck to haul around the feed and such. I was extremely grateful for that. I was also grateful for the my little plum colored car, the Goofmobile" as we called it...which by the way they didn't give me much for the trade in. I of course was not surprised at that one. Just by turning it on they realized the transmission was on its way out and that it would start to overheat on a dime. Along with the other myriad of problems. I was so excited because one thing after another fell into place for us. The financing turned out great, they gave me an even lower rate, they quoted me the bare bones clearance 2007 model price for a 2008 fully loaded and then stuck by their offer, they are covering the car for the lifetime of the vehicle aside from tires, brakes, wipers, the paint job and windshield...if it breaks down ...they fix it and I do not get charged a penny. That includes free towing and a rental car, plus if we are traveling they will reimburse us up to $1000 for hotel and food costs associted with waiting for the car. So I am incredibly happy with my new 2008 Jeep Grand Cherokee. It is my dream car and I am thrilled. It truly could not have gone any better. Oh...and yes, they are transferring my favorite license plates "Goofmobl" to the new car. Can life get any better?!?!? Oh and no...Don is not allowed to drive it!!! It's my car!!!! yay!! just kidding. I think I will let him take a spin tonight in it around the block....maybe.

F-R-I-E-N-D-S forever...I'll be there foryou!!!

If any of you have heard the full extent of this night please forgive me, but truly it was one of the craziest our lives. It started out simple enough. Dinner with friends to celebrate our 15th anniversary. I am now incredibly sorry that until last week I did not have a digital camera to record the evening because truly it was like living an episode of FRIENDS. Don thought it would be fun to rent a limo for the night to take us to San Francisco...as we are together 24/7 we have absolutely nothing to talk about other than the store and the kids so we figured it would be fun to invite another couple to take out for the night. Figuring after all the craziness in their lives up until that point we figured Lora and Anson could really use a night out to not think of the bad stuff and concentrate on the good stuff. Well, that ended up being the best night we have had in a long time. Our limo arrived nice and prompt complete with red carpet and balloons for us to celebrate our night. We also had champagne which was a laugh considering I explained to the company several days prior that none of us drink. So they were going to replace with sparkling cider. Oh well, we survived. our trip got underway and we were having a good time. Lora began making strange little faces until she could not stand it any longer. She HAD to take off the boots as they had not stretched out enough for her to wear fully yet. So we sat back and enjoyed the night talking while Lora began to play with the lights. might i add that somehow we were booked into the prom limo that actually had fireworks bursting with different colors as we pushed the buttons. As if that hadn't been enough we arrived to the fabulous restaurant Palio D'Asti on Sacramento street. When we arrived we all climbed out with the exception of Lora. Bless her heart the poor girls could not get her boots back on. After a few minutes. She managed and joined us walking into the restaurant. Now, i must add that my dear BFF Lora did not happen to feel her best as she came down with a cold so concentrating on something was just not gonna happen at this point. We were shown immediately to our table where we quickly sat. The waiter came over and introduced himself...not that I remember his name now and rattled off a list that made us all look at him strangely. he talked so fast we heard: "blah blah blah cod blah blah blah sea bass blah blah blah pasta..." and you get the picture from there. Poor Lora had the deer in the headlights look that was enough to make me laugh. bless her heart she looked at him and explained that she had no idea just what he had said...i doubt the rest of us understood either. Finally after nearly 15 minutes of painful ordering we managed to come up with a menu for the night. Now, also Lora had this thing for clean forks. She actually requested at one point for our waiter to bring her five forks....so...What did he do? he brought her five different forks. It was incredibly funny. the maitre d walked past several times staring at the forks. We later explained that the waiter was doing exactly as ordered by Lora so that he would not get in trouble. The maitre d looked at the forks and then rushed off only to come back with the only fork that the waiter had forgotten. Of course, who could have forgotten our dear businessmen traveling form somewhere in Asia enjoying our basic dump trucks. We watched trying desperately not to laugh as they each took turns pretending they were the dump trucks lifting the dumpsters off the ground. Poor Lora and Don were looking out the window and were unable to turn around as that would make it too obvious that we were laughing at them. The evening was capped off with Lora enjoying sitting at the controls, down her window pretending to be on the cell phone and of course our dancing in the limo to some 80's music. So i must say although i felt trapped in an episode of friends...It was the most incredible night that i will never forget as long as I live. Well, until next year when Lora plans the itinerary...i think it involves a limo and target, perhaps even baskin robbins. I am not sure but I quite scared....Pray for my strength!!!

Another fine letter I have received....

Well all...it has happened again. I have received my third letter telling me what a horrible writer I am. Only problem is...I don't believe it yet. Oh well, I guess they will have to try and break another girl's heart because as with everything I am a work in progress. my writing abilities are progressing as my dear friend Lynne has helped me. My creativity has been flowing...too which I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father. I honestly do like getting the turn down letters and I will tell you why. You are going to think me just a bit more insane than normal, but with every single turn down letter I get...this one was actually signed. I read one little bit of the letter that makes me smile. "Dear Author" are the words that truly make me smile. I always think of myself as a writer. Author is the title that you earn when your story is published. In my heart, I am a writer...I am not an author...yet. Believe me...when that glorious day comes when someone truly goes insane and accepts one of my manuscripts I will be screaming it from the top of the Altamont....the Sierras are too far away and quite honestly I don't have enough energy to climb Mount Everest to scream it from there. So, in honor of my latest rejection I hold a glass aloft and send a toast to all those striving to live their dreams, whatever they may be, through what seems to be impossible circumstances. To you I raise my tall pink Bubba Gump glass to celebrate the wonderful people that you are and all of your amazing abilities!!! Cheers to you all!!!!

Wandering....

I truly was just wandering around the web this morning hitting different blogs of people I had never met when my heart just ached because these women were so passionate and so creative I wanted so much to be like them....of course there was one major difference....I can't sew. Well, i really should qualify that...i don't sew well. I pieced together a quilt for Girl's Camp and it will do it's purpose of keeping me warm, but we shall see just how far that takes me. I am going to attempt to do the same for my daughters...make them a cute quilt with bright colored fabric for their beds. We shall see, but we will need to start after this weekend.

Anyway, after seeing these outwardly creative women I dearly wished I was like them being very artsy with my hands and then it struck me....I AM!!!! well in my own little world. I am working on writing my latest story which in the end has had me literally creating my own world. Scary but true. It has been a challenge which I am desperately trying to rise to the occasion. Luckily...my hubby is behind me 100%. He understands when the voices in my head won't stop and i am sitting next to him in bed while he is sleeping I am typing away on my laptop. he understands it is m dream to finish and see a story published....we shall see how long that takes me, but in the end I ant something that I don't have to hate in the end. It is an interesting process I have fallen in love with...even though it tries my nerves to the end. So i finally figured out that on the outside I am not as creative as these fabulous women, but in my mind where the creative juices are flowing we are one in the same. Amazing how that happens!

Sad News....I'M BORING!!!

i know...I know. It has been declared that I am boring. Oh how heartbreaking ti was to get that news. Actually, I think it slipped out because I got tired of planning every night with the kids and him and I was tired. i wanted someone else to come up with something to do. I am truly tired of making every single decision. Why are men like that...sorry if any of you are reading this...but I assume you will blame it all on PMS and move on so we will leave it at that...So, I have been on strike waiting to see just what would happen. Here are the details....you all will get a laugh at this. We stopped by one of our favorite restaurants (old fashioned and haunted to boot..love it)..the Banta Inn... they got a very simple menu but I love the food. Anyway, we hit there at a particularly busy night and somehow ended up eating in the corner next to the jukebox nearer the bar than we would really like. The owner is a friend so we just let it go and he tried so hard to take care of us it was not even funny. The entire night turned into a comedy of errors. The cook...there was only one tonight was making everyones food and we had just been seated after a rush of people had come in so we had to wait in line. he was using every inch of the stove...anyway, i sat with my back to the jukebox with started blaring out some Kid Rock song that by the end of Molly started singing along with the chorus. the bonus is that we watched an entire episode of CSI on their tv's before our meal had even got there. The very best part was that Don was not able to complain because he set it up. I didn't complain at all and of course our friend Dave comped us part of the meal because we had to wait so long. By the time we got our dinner and left it was near the kids' bedtime so we had to go stop by the grocery store on the way home before Sunday hit. his planning of the night was a complete and total disaster. Not that I am gloating or anything, but there truly could not have been a more boring evening...And I am the one that is boring.
Oh and I am not kidding about it being haunted...there are several ghosts that truly do haunt the place. If you want details I can give them to you later!!

Thank you thank you Heavenly Father

Lately, we have noticed just how slow it has been. We hear from other business owners that they are slower than usual. I can totally identify as our numbers from last year and this year have dropped. It is across the board. I've also noticed through prayers small miracles happening here and there. A man was waiting outside the store wanting a pair of boots. Boots is one of our specialties so if you are looking for cowboy boots come on down we can find something for you!! Sorry, shameless plugs and all it is my life. Anyway, He was waiting and I sold him a pair of alligator boots. Can I just say now that this does not happen very often. The normal cost of these boots is $900 and no I am not joking...however they can go much higher. Don woke up late and had not even made it to the store quite yet. he showed up as my new best friend left with his precious boots. Don asked causally if I had sold him some boots and I responded just as casual that I sold them. If he would have anything in his mouth he would have choked...we do not sell them all that often. Anyway, little miracles here and there to boost our business. I believe it is because we got rid of the alcohol and cigarettes that Don's Dad used to sell there. I am so thankful and today it seemed like the people were not going to stop coming in. I find myself after work saying the phrase "Thank you Heavenly Father!" Do you see small miracles in your life that make you say the same?

Time Out For Me!!

After talking to several friends and some of our customers for the past few days I realized that we never take time for ourselves...to rest...to rejuvinate...and to be more than just honey or Mom!!! This was my first ever time away. I was in Mazatlan away on a cruise. The only contact I had with my family was texting a couple times to Don from Cabo San Lucas. I went with my sister-in-law and my niece and her friends and had the time of my life. I realized that soemtimes I need me time...wherever it may be. this year I took my me time in Girl's Camp. Yes, I was up when the generator started at 6am...yes I was in there until kris kicked us out so she could mop...but i cooked and cleaned and served. i have made lifelong friends and got away from the monotony of life. This trip i even went horseback riding in the jungles of Puerto Vallarta...well behind it anyway and even swam with and rode a dolphin. Tell me that was not cool!!! The dolphin thing was a dream come true for me. i will be forever grateful that my hubby understands my needs to escape and he gest his when he goes hunting for a week. We take turns so that one of us is always at the store...until we get enough help to go on a longer family vacation. Sounds great to me!!! Anyway, think of your time what you like to do to rejuvinate. i would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. Where do you do? Right now I plug in my ipod and dive into my computer and drift off into another world with my dear sweet characters in the book I am working on. It helps me get away from normal life. What do you guys do? Where do you go? Where would be the best place to go on a girl's week away from kids and hubbies..just gal pals and no worries?

Rockin & A Rollin

Ok...so we had the earthquake last night and I have to say that I was a bit sad when Don accused me of causing it. Our bed began to sway a bit and he told me to knock it off. Now, I a have a cold and am feeling all achy and yucky and he accuses me of doing it. Thank you so much!!! Still...it was not as bad as the one in '89. Now that was an incredible one. That was the last "big one" that I ever really want to feel. My kids were asking me the other day what an earthquake feels like. Well, now you know!!!!

Slowing Down

If there is one thing that i noticed about California that truly drives me bananas is that people are running from one place to another always playing catch up. What would happen if everyone in California just slowed down? What would happen if we all just took a deep breath and slowed down. We used to rush rush rush from one place to another trying to fit everything in. We ran to the mall just to walk around, we would run to have dinner here, catch a movie there. I am so tired of running!!!!! So guess what we did?! We stopped. Seriously we stopped running from place to place. It had gotten so bad that I had to tell everyone to call my cell phone if they wanted to get in touch with me. That's pretty bad. Well, I am not so tired any longer. We are actually eating at home more...that used to be a rarity...i lost most of my cooking skills. Ugh!!! Anyway, I noticed that the kids were happier and we didn't get argumentative like we used to. We spend more time playing like we used to and it made things simpler. We have gotten so that we play more games like Bocce ball, Frisbee, volleyball...or whatever we feel like doing. Try simplifying your life and let me know what you think!!!

Exciting happenings!!!

We had an exciting night this past week. Molly graduated from DARE. It was even more exciting because it was our last time we would attend one of our kids' DARE graduations. It was fun because the kids are all excited...Officer Abs is the best DARE leader in the world!!! Molly was surprised as were Don and I to learn she had been picked for writing the best DARE essay in her class and received a special medallion. It was so fun to see her walking up front with her red face to get her award. It was also good because we saw Molly's friend Reese get the award in his class for role model. All in all it was a fun night...I am happy we are done!!!

15 years...WOW!!!!

I can barely believe that it has been 15 years that Don and I have been married. I remember our wedding day when two things were said. I drove from here in Tracy to our new apartment in which Don had moved in the previous week to pick up Don for our wedding...I never was a believer in all that superstition. I told him that morning: "This is your last chance to escape...I don't believe in divorce. If you love me enough to marry me now you had better be sure it is enough to last for eternity. Make your final choice now." He obviously decided to go through with it. We have had ups and downs like everyone. Some of our downs were lower than most peoples, but I have learned from it and it made us stronger. Did we ever give up? Sometimes yes. Doesn't everyone at some point in their life through their hands up and say I give up? However, we worked hard at it and now things are much easier. We still go through trials. We always will, but we now go through them together instead of alone...It makes it so much easier.

It's the simple things

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away I received the most wonderful gift from a dear dear Relief Society President. She brought to me for Valentine's Day a small roughly carved wooden heart painted on it the saying: "It's the simple things." That has often stuck with me as I have noticed with my kids the simple things have always been the best.
In California most of us have noticed just how fast the pace of living is. There is always something to do and somewhere to go. For me I am trying so hard to keep up when it always seems that I am lagging behind. Back in Oregon after a particularly good rain I brought the kids home from school and we put their backpacks in the house and I told them to take off their shoes and socks. We went out in the rain and jumped from puddle to puddle getting them all muddy from head to toe. It was one of my favorite memories of the kids when they were tiny. I am happy that they had the chance to live simply because it was great!!!

Fall Season

I am not sure how everyone else feels about the fall, but I am loving it. I am not overheated like the summertime and it is not as windy as the Spring here. Don and I went out to breakfast over at the Banta Inn, prefering the long- loved local haunts to the new ones, and as we drove back home through the back way we marveled at the sights. So much has changed just form when we went to high school here. I guess time always changes things, admittedly so, not always for the better. It was much quieter here back in the 80's. there was no mall, the theater was on eleventh street and it had only two screens. you never wore flip slops there as you would walk right out of them. Tracy high was the only high school in town and you knew it. We would whine that there was never enough to do in Tracy. Yes, there are always the bad things, but we made it through all of that garbage. I guess we can all say that, but it is true. Now I wish it hadn't gorwn and that it was back to the way it was before. I guess time changes everything...including us!!!