Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Strange Happenings

I watched Molly tonight out in the center of the stage performing tonight and I listened to one of the things that her teacher mentioned and I took a bit of thought into it. She said that actors are truly shy on the outside but when playing a part can blossom into something incredible on stage because they don't have to be themselves. As drama geek to the core I agree completely. At this point in my life I am working very hard on a story that has brewed in my mind and hopefully developing a talent that heavenly Father has blessed me with. i am grateful to my know who you are. On several occasions I find myself lost in my own thoughts not paying attention to the outside world. I am quite content to watch the outgoing women in our ward talk and enjoy themselves and quite honestly I am not very good in the social aspect of my life. I am a geek to the core and I truly mean that. Those who are as oddball as I am understand. I truly do not feel at ease in most people's presence because I am so insecure with myself. I am overweight, not a beauty queen and taller than most amazon women. Quite honestly, I am a freak or have often felt like that. I never remember my age and can't remember dates to save my life. No I do not forget my immediate family's birthdays or my anniversary but ask me anything that revolves around a date and I am a babbling fool.
I have been working a lot lately on my writing and I am thankful that in my own little world i can change from one person to another. I can be the evil queen or the simple girl trying to cope with her past. I let myself fall so deeply into the stories that I often hear conversations in the back of my head that belong to the characters. Many times it can be in the worst times. I have found myself sitting up until 2am typing away because they will not be quiet. Luckily, my husband understands the drive that I have to get this going. I am over half way through the novel and I pray that the end comes along and that i am inspired as how to reach the goal of finishing it before I start collecting social security. We shall see, but it looks like I will be finishing up more than likely next year in hopes of trying to get it out to some publishers. We shall see, but I just figured I had better explain before you got caught up in a conversation with me and my eyes glaze over and i completely lose track of what I was even talking about. that's when my dear friends/characters are talking to me. Please forgive me if you see this happen to me. i promise to snap out of it. besides, one a social reject always a social reject.

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