Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Randomness Rules!!!

Here is a great e-mail Ireceived from my sister-in-law. Thanks Chris!!

To: YOU Date: TODAY From: GOD Subject: YOURSELF Reference: LIFE This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. P.S. And, remember... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now. Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know! Now, you have a nice day.


Dear idiot driver,

I know I am being harsh calling a driver an idiot, but I nearly lost my life because of you last night. My children were at home helping prepare for the arrival of our friends this afternoon while hubby and I ran some errands, picked up food, gassed up the truck and had a quiet dinner date ourselves. Dinner was fabulous, but I nearly lost my dinner when you came into our lives. We walked hand in hand through the parking lot...the foggy parking lot. You seemed to believe it wasn't foggy or even dark because you didn't have your headlights on. had you turned them on it would have made it a little easier to see us walking. I apparently forgot the protocol of driving in parking lots. I simply believed you were to drive carefully as people do walk to their cars. Instead you were driving an estimated 45 miles per hour nearly sideswiping a car pulling into the parking lot and taking both my husband and I out. Our kids would not have parents coming home had we not jumped out of your way. You might want to reconsider the "no lights" policy at night as you nearly lost your life last night as well. Hubby was so irritated with you he wanted to show you how it felt only to use you for a speed bump. You owe me as I urged him to forgive your actions and turn the other cheek. So, next time as you are rushing to get your next cup of coffee from Starbuck's to help you go a little bit faster, please drive a bit slower and try turning your headlights on. I really wanted to be able to walk back in the front door to see my children again.


Just Me


Dear Mr. Trump,

How sweet of your to send me a lovely note inviting me to a nice night with you. I understand you are desperate to teach me how to live like a billionaire, but there is one minute problem. I'm not one. However, I would be willing to spend an evening discussing these matters with you if you pay me ten times what I am asking for my store so I can move out of here and then I can start thinking about living like a billionaire. For now though, I am sorry, but my children are worth more than your time in teaching me your valuable lessons. i tell you what though, since you were so kind in sending me the free attendance coupons I would be happy to send you a coupon in return!!!
Just Me
Happy New Year All!!!

1 comment:

Jan said...

Hilarious Tammy.

Happy New Year to you.