Friday, December 19, 2008

What is it?!

What is it about parties, most especially holiday parties that makes me turn into that 7th grade geek that I always was? I gt so nervous the day of anyone's party that has invited me. What should I wear? What should I bring? What if there is nobody to talk to? What if they think I am a dork and I am put on the party blackball list. I know, I's just my insecurities. I don't do well in large groups. Partially because of my dorkdom...a friend from high school told me I was the queen of dorks...great! Oh hey? Do I get a tiara for that?! Just checking....really!!! Mostly I think is because any large group of people I never do well with because it turns out bad...really bad. One ward Christmas a woman asked when I was due. I turned to her with a smile on my face and said: "I'm sorry, I'm not pregnant...I'm just fat." Then I gave her a hug because she was properly mortified and all was well in my world. My main problem with large gatherings is that I simply cannot hear. I don't know why my hearing is bad...insert memories of all the loud concerts and high school dances I left with my ears ringing here. I should go get it checked but it took me this long to get my eyes checked. Maybe next century!!!
Well all. I will march my insecure little self over to the party and have a fabulous time pretending I know exactly what you all are saying. I know that I will more than likely receive a ton of comments telling me how insane I am to be insecure, but I am what I am!!! Does anyone else have insecurities or am I the only one left on the planet?!


Jan said...

No way Tammy. It is my tiara. I am the queen of insecurities. Seriously do not do well in situations like that. Dork is the word of the day it looks like. And it appears there are alot of them out there. So welcome. And go have fun.

Jen said...

Yes! We all have insecurities! Mine is not with parties, but I have looots of other ones. When you do not come, we still miss your hearing impaired dorky self!