Monday, June 8, 2009
What Type of Mask Do You Wear?
I was talking to a very dear friend of mine who I absolutely adore. She has so many talents in decorating and hosting fabulous parties, making everyone fell at home. She asked how I was doing and mentioned having a going away party. She also knows I am not one who likes to be the cetner of attention. I agreed knowing it would be fun to have one last party with my fabulous friends here, although I fully believe by the time it comes I will convince myself it is for someone else and not me...don't worry, she'll tease me about this later. However, it was later in the conversation when she mentioned something I have in common with other comedians such as Robin Williams, Jim Carrey & others. not that I am hysterically funny, though I feel myself mildly amusing.
What she had pointed out was my ability to hide. My humor is a mask I hide behind. You've all heard me say before in my family we choose to laugh or cry and we always choose laughter. Her words have echoed in my mind helping me to see a defense mechanism I never noticed. I don't know if it is because of my insecurities or the fact down deep inside I utterly hate to be the whiney friend who complains about everything. Whenever a friend asks me how I am doing my lips spit out the first one-liner I can think of. I see many comedians who do the same thing. THey always feel they have to be "on" and funny for everyone. It's kind of like when someone says: "Hey! I heard you are funny...say something to make me laugh!"
"Uh!!! Duh!!!" It's virtually impossible. So, in my first "un-hiding" moment I will answer the one question I get asked all the time: "How are you?"
Today my friends, I am literally crappy. Today the notice was posted on our property...we're being foreclosed on. We are losing everything we've worked hard for. I have to admit, I don't feel too bad. We move on June 27th and they are requesting us to be out by the 30th. We apparently timed it correctly. Anyway, after my family left for the day I stepped into my kitchen for a drink of water and found my parents not only had brought 3 dozen eggs fresh from their chickens, but they brought some extra food to help out until we move. Tears came to my eyes. I am truly grateful for my family and my friends.
To my dear friend who brought the truth to my eyes I need to share my thanks. I never knew I was hiding. I simply didn't want to burden anyone with my stresses. So to her I say a special "thank you." Your words and observation meant the most to me.