Friday, September 12, 2008

Do you ever get to that point?

I am at that point where my entire life that I have been living is bothering me. Do you ever look back and then wonder what you were thinking? I am teaching two lessons at church this Sunday. One is on keeping the word of God as a standard in my life and the other discusses the cycle that we see so often in the scriptures...righteous & prosperity,pride & wickedness,destruction & suffering, humility & repentance...and then we start the entire thing over again. No, I have not formed a secret combination dead set of wreaking havoc and destruction. That is very wrong. More of the battle I am talking about is an internal one. I have been reading scriptures all this morning and felt like I was in that humility & repentance part of my cycle. I know that we went through the prosperity and such and now we are getting hit down low. The economy is not a good thing around here and I am not kidding you when I say that I had only 6 customers yesterday...barely enough to pay the electric bill. It is slow again today and I am feeling it. I have taken to a lot of prayer and reading of the scriptures today which is a good thing. I see now how my spirit has been neglected and I need to change that. I need to refill that spiritual bucket. It is interesting to me that the last time I hit that part of the cycle I ended up having the most incredible spiritual growth of my life and feeling so close to my Heavenly Father that I could touch Him. I want to feel that again and if it means that I have to humble myself through trials then so be it. Most people look at trials as a bad thing, but i have noticed that when trials come it is better if I face them head on. Bring on the trials that in the end will make me a better person. Bring on the trials that will bring me closer to my Father in Heaven. Bring on the trials that will draw my family closer and make our lives draw farther from the world's standards and closer to Heavenly Father's.

Yes, I know I am preachy. To be honest I don't think of it as preachy because I know that I am talking about my life and not yours. I tend to think better as I write my thoughts out. For this one instance I have decided to let the world into my head for a brief glimpse. And, although much of the time the thoughts in my head are as crazy as Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory there are times when my thoughts come together and I have the ultimate epiphany on making my life and my family's life better. Maybe sometime I will let you into my chocolate factory mind....NAH!!!!


Our Family said...

Tammy, you are incredible. Keeping plugging along, it will all come together. You're right, through trials we have some of the most incredible experiences we will ever have. We love you!

Poetry of Life said...

You are soo right! I think Heavenly Father gives us trials to get closer to him. He misses you, so he thought he'd throw you a curve ball and visit! Hang in there. We all make it through...eventually.

Jen said...

Thanks for sharing that. We all need to hear it. Thanks again for teaching my class. they are lucky to have you!