The end of the year....

Tomorrow signals the end fo the year and a new beginning. I am always curious as to what the future will bring. This year was a big one fo rus. Don and I bought our first home along with taking over and buying the family store from his parents. We watched our oldest daughter move into young women's...gasp! i went to Girl's Camp for the first time and really enjoyed myself. I learned a bit about myself and what talents lie within me. I learned that sometimes when those talents make it onto paper I can truly make people smile...the best. Sigh! I have learned that making a quilt will not kill me. I have learned my family is the most beautiful thing in my life and if Don and I lean on each other, nothing can't be accomplished. I am grateful for the trials in my life that turn me into a better person. I am grateful for my blessings and I am grateful for a child who is not my own that hands me a paper covered in crayon markings telling me that they missed me when I was gone. So, I raise a glass of sparkling cider to you all and propose a toast: "To who we were, to who we are & to who we may soemday become!" Happy New Year to you all!!!

Get your hot buttered popcorn here!!!!

Well Christmas had come and gone and to be honest I am grateful. I am grateful for all the many customers that came in giving us a more successful year than last even in this crazy economy. I am grateful that the presents are open and that I am done with Christmas and I am truly grateful that my daughter did not throw and incredible tantrum when I realized that her present never made it off of back order and I did indeed owe her one more present. Ah the fun of motherhood. For those of you wondering my hubby has given up the diamonds this year and bought me a more fun gift to cheer me up after the whole Jeep fiasco..which by the way is on its way to being completely finished in the next couple weeks. So, now I have my own personal popcorn trolley giving em the ability to make my own theater popcorn here at home. It is just a little silliness to complete our home entertainment craziness. AS soon as we get our pinball machine we will actually be a teen's hangout paradise. the only thing missing is the pool table...but I have a plan brewing....

That's what it is all about....

I just received this picture from one of the girls that i know at church. This is my oldest daughter and I at Girl's Camp. I guarantee you that i have more fashion sense than this, but when you head into the kitchen at 6 am and don't escape until nearly 9pm fashion simply must be adjusted...

you can see by my daughter's face that she was having the time of her life. That truly was my hopes. I can't tell you how nervous I was, but when we were on the drive home she said that it was the most incredible feeling to be able to be her self as a daughter of God and not have to worry about other judging her by her standards because they all had the exact same beliefs. She is so looking forward to next year because she calls it her vacation from the outside world. She told me that she found her testimony during that week. Yes, I teared up which made it difficult to drive, but what could I do?! I can't wait until Girl's Camp next year!!! So, exciting!!!!

Here we come a carolin'...

We had a great time last night caroling with a large group of families. Don and I were worn to bits, after a long day serving many Christmas shoppers, but we had a wonderful time. My kids whined in the beginning of the day: "We don't WANT to go caroling!!!" Then they tried to put their foot down and tell us they were not going. I replied back in my most extremely stern mother's voice that they were going. Then "the look" came. You know the one...whenever your mother wanted to get her point across. I am not sure when we acquire that ability to give "the look"...perhaps that is why labor is so hard! Anyway, I told the kids that we were going and there was nothing they were going to do about it. So, after work I dragged myself into the kitchen and scrambled up some eggs while Corinna made all the toast. We ate dinner went and filled up the car with gas and then headed over. Apparently, the kids had no idea what we were planning on doing and with whom. They had a blast! They were still singing when we came home and can't wait until next year!!!

Seriously, BFF's rule!!!

I have to tell you that I have had so much support that I never knew that I had. it's just one of those crazy things that we can't control and all we can do is our best. Whatever the outcome is then we will deal with it. If this last financial thing doesn't work then I will just put it all on hold until I have the money to pay cash. That would make me incredibly happy to be perfectly honest, but what can I do? Anyway, I wanted to thanks all your kind notes. You see, that is what the truth is...it's just a car, but friends will last for an eternity!!!! I love you all!!!

It's Ba-ack!!!!!

Did you know that it is a law that when you turn in car for trade in that the dealer is not allowed to sell the car to another person until after the financing is settled? Neither did I!!!! So, I was surprised to get a call from the dealership and have our good friend Manual, who has been helping us all this time, to tell me that my old plum escort wagon was not only back, but it had a large amount of repairs done on it. Apparently, they sold the car way too soon and ended up having to buy it back from a small dealership that had already put $400 of their own money into fixing it up (which in our money is like $800 or more). What's more is that since the repairs were done and it did not belong to me at the time I did not have to pay for the repairs. They had replaced the broken windshield done a tune up and an oil change, they adjusted the timing belt which needed to be done and it looks like they replaced the thermostat that caused us to overheat and what started the entire buying process in the first place. I can not believe it!!!!! My little plum car is back for now...mostly repaired...and I have use of it to run my errands, until the rest of the financing comes through and then I will try and get the Jeep back. the owner told the mechanics to do the once over very slowly to give us time to check into it all working. If not then we will just deal with it. I am grateful for what has occurred, but surprised at the same time. I thought the license plate put on it was appropriate:

I guess the Goofmobile is back in action!!!!

A New Day

I am still a bit bleary eyed, waking up, but I am doing well. All is quiet in the house. The kids and hubby are still snoozing away in their beds. I enjoy the quiet of the mornings where all is heard is the clicks and clacks of our gas heater keeping us toasty through the night. So, for the past few days I have shared the stress and craziness of my life and to be honest I am feeling good here. I feel good that I have gotten the Jeep back to the dealership while I sort everything out. I feel confident that everything happens for a reason and though we don't always know what that reason is I can appreciate that there is that reason for it all. I don't know and perhaps will never know,but I can live with that for now. I know how it will happen in the end. After giving Heavenly father a big hug upon my return from my adventure here on this earth I will ask him. "Hey! What was the deal with the Jeep?" So, we will continue on and not worry about the little things that cannot be figured out here on the earth. I have learned to shrug those things off afterwards. Sometimes , it is just not worth clinging to questions that can't be answered right here, right now.

The sad sad news!!!

Well, to be honest it is a very sad day that i had to bring the Jeep back to the dealership. i don't blame them for wanting it back when the financing backs out. I am so upset at the people promising to watch over us and then just because we own our own store they don't want to take a chance. Well, I did find a lender who is taking care of it for us but it will take a couple weeks to get it finished. Now, please understand that I am completely calm. My soul feels fine.I have no worries about it. Once we finish the financing we will head back and perhaps my sweet little Jeep will still be there. The sweet man at the dealership said he would get the people in charge of maintenance to work veeerrrrryyyyy slowly just to give me a couple weeks to get it all done. I can appreciate that. So that is where I am at. One car between us, but that is fine. There is truly no reason to panic or throw a temper tantrum. i feel good handling it with my head held high. From here on out we shall see what happens!!!!

Update

Well, we are down to one person willing to attempt to help us out. We shall see what happens, but I feel the calmness inside that tells me everything is happening according to they way it is supposed to. Whether good or bad I have no idea, but at least we have got the fact that I feel we are on the track that we are supposed to be. Until I find out what it is I will carry on. I truly do understand the other finance companies position. With the craziness and foreclosures on the part of the real estate market they are clamping down much harder on those of us who are really trying. I truly do want to stomp my feet and scream "It's not fair!" That would do me no good to be perfectly honest. I mean on the outside it would make me feel better, but it won't change the facts of what is happening. I have cleaned out the car and I am ready to take it back tonight if it so be. For now though, I will look at the good things in my life. I have three healthy children, well except for the little sniffles from their colds. I have a good sturdy house to live in. I own my own store, which can be a curse as well as a blessing sometimes, but what can I do? I have a husband that loves me and friends that care. I have the ability to worship my Heavenly Father and serve without fear of repercussion from the government. I have food on my table and a full tummy at night when I sleep. I think that is all that I need to think of. We shall see what happens, but for now that is enough to think of the good things.

Utterly and completely frustrated!!!

I tell you, I held myself through the little problems with getting a new window installed because my darling daughter was playing golf in the house with a bouncy ball. I didn't blink an eye when the repairs for the well pump and it turned out to just be a short. I really handled myself well. Unfortunately, I lost it today when I found out that over a month after agreeing to fund us for the purchase of our new car Capital One decided that we were unworthy of their financial services because we just bought a store and cannot prove that we have been self employed for more than two years. I am so frustrated so it looks like my favorite little Jeep will need to go bye bye tomorrow night...unless a miracle happens. I feel calm in my heart, but I feel like I have been kicked while I was down. I do have some people working on it and are destined to share the fate of my dear little car tomorrow afternoon. I am just so frustrated. I know that they need proof of income, but I feel like some homeless person trying to get a handout. Perhaps I should try to raise funds that way!!! Just kidding. I just feel like I am in a tailspin and of course it comes at a time when I am the most over worked. Of course the overall feeling is that I am calm and I trust in that. I know whatever is happening I was meant to go through. It's not a problem. I will go through this and do my best to learn what I am supposed to learn. It seems that there are so many more things to worry about and this should not be one of them. We shall see what happens though. i will update when I figure out what is happening. Wish me luck!!!

Hard Road

Yesterday was certainly an adventure, but we are working through it all. The window was replaced and the problem with our pump was found and fixed costing us only a couple hundred dollars instead of the expected several thousand dollars that is associated with well pump repairs. We are still working on the financing, but a calm feeling has settled over my heart and so there is no worry there. We certainly have friends and angels watching over us at the dealership which seems quite unusual for me. Why am i mentioning all of this? Well, yesterday it seemed like a crazy hard road that we were on and quite honestly I was none too thrilled, but Don and I held our heads up and walked on dealing with everything as it came without getting too upset..although it made trips to the bathroom fairly difficult last night as well.

Anyway, more to the point...a friend came by who is not a member of our church but a good man nonetheless and he said to me: "being a Christian is hard work." he went over some of their troubles in the past year and quite honestly it was big, but no more than anyone else has to deal with. We talked for a good 5 minutes, which was the only free time I had yesterday with the holiday shoppers. He talked about his troubles and knew much of our troubles we have dealt with. He asked me if I found it hard to be a Christian all of the time. I thought about it for a second and then looked him dead in the eye and said: "I would find it harder to not be a Christian." he thought about it and understood just what I was saying. There were no judgements made on this dear man because he had never looked at it that way. He left the store with a whole new attitude. So, amongst all the trials of the day i was thankful to be given the opportunity to serve a friend and help them on the hard road they were on and realize it wasn't as hard as it would seem.

When it rains it pours!!!

Well, somehow it seems to be our turn in experiencing hardships. It's all right. I can deal with it. I bought a new car and we had the financing all set up. Apparently the company that we went through has a loophole that they cannot lend to people who have just bought their own business and haven't owned it for two years or more. I am feeling like my head is banging into a wall. I do have to say that the people at Tracy Jeep have really gone to bat and have been quite gracious through this entire process. I am frustrated but they have really been patient and are helping me beyond all belief. I truly appreciate their efforts in re-doing the financing. I HATE buying cars and now you know why!!!

Apparently though that was not quite enough to send me off kilter, but my darling children playing ball in the house have cracked a window...easily replaceable so again no reason to get too upset. So, since I didn't get too upset about that our water pump has gone out on us. Bless his sweet heart, poor Don was in the shower washing his hair when the water stopped. poor guy. I did help out and brought a pan of warm water compliments of our dear friends at Alhambra to wash his hair out. So, again people are on their way to fix that. no reason to get upset. We just deal with it and move on. perhaps the dogs got into our well house and tore the wiring out. We have no idea, but we do know that whatever happens money will be the outcome of this one. I also have been dealing with a cold that had taken my voice away much to my children and husband's happiness, but it has come back so they are no longer laughing.

Well friends...I am sorry, but I had to whine a bit and now I can just let it go and "Git R Done!"

OK! OK! I give!!!

Ok!! So I have some friendly elves trying to get me to cheer up. For those sweet elves thank you so much. I think it is just the wear and tear on my body from this cold that has got me down. I have been working hard trying to get things done around here and I am happy toannounce that I will be finishing off all my Christmas chores tomorrow. I need to mail off a package to my brother-in-law's place in Texas tomorrow and then a few gift cards for the nieces ans nephews and I can count myself finished. i am thrilled about that one!!!! I have decided to work on some homemade gifts for next year, but first I need to make sure that I get my current projects that I have on my project desk done. The girls and I are going to start on our version of crazy quilts. I have to say making perfect squares never was my strong point and being precise is just no fun to me SO, instead i am going to be working on completely random concoctions out of materials the girls have chosen. We shall see how it is all done, but we are hoping it will be a fun project for us. they can cut the different angles and I will work the materials together on the machine. Who knows? We may get it done by next Christmas!!! I'll post a picture when and if we ever get started. perhaps the few days that we have off for the new year we can get it started. We shall see. i still need to sew the buttons on my girl's camp quilt for next year!!! We shall see!!!

Holiday Blahs

Does anyone have a recipe to get rid of the holiday blahs. I am dead serious too. I guess having a cold and dealing with the store it has set me into the holiday blahs and I am none too thrilled about it but what can i do?!It also may have something to do with my cold which has taken my voice away causing me to sing like Peter Brady going through puberty. Not a thrilling sound let me tell you!!! Anyway, I am just blah like. Tomorrow I go and finish up the final gift cards of my Christmas shopping and then I will go home and work on getting the house cleaned up again. We shall see what happens. until then i will try and be cheery and bright, but I think my bulb has burnt out!!!!

A Lovely Night!!!

We were invited to a friend's house last night for dinner. To be quite honest I have a huge cold in my throat and I was feeling pretty miserable and all I wanted to do was to climb under the covers of my bed and snooze away. I know that today would be busy with Christmas Shoppers at our store so I was quite happy to regain my strength and be my pathetic self in bed. However, since we had already rsvp'd that we 'd be there we couldn't miss it. I am glad that we went because we had a great time. i would bet that it would not have been as much fun hiding from the world in my bed. It was a good night, we relaxed and ate some really great food and played a few rounds of a game. Being that I was hopped up on my cold medicine and my thoughts weren't as clear a everyone else I felt like the chips were stacked against me in any fast paced game . I did have fun though and that was the point. I could have totally OD'd on the relaxation and laughter in the room that night. It really picked me up in spirits to be able to gather with some friends.

Liposuction & Botox!!!!

Have you ever had a Christmas Season where.....? I know that we could all answer that question, but let me tell you, my holiday season is drooping down. I must say first though that i am really all right with what has happened. I can see the confusion on one aspect, but the other is just downright depressing. At the progressive dinner I was mistaken for being one of those beautiful ladies that was pregnant. Believe it or not I understand the confusion as it seems that every time we turn around there is another pregnancy announced. I am so totally thrilled for those women and thankful it is not me. We laughed at the time and honestly that hadn't bothered me. As some of you know my quick replies can sometimes take over, but all i could think of to say was: "No, sweetheart, I am not pregnant...just fat." The poor woman that asked me just about fell over when I threw that answer at her.

Today though I hit an all new low. A woman came in, looked at me and said: "Gee! I thought you retired!" She had mistaken me for my mother-in-law who is now in her 60's. That one I did have to say "Ouch!" I have to admit that I really do love my age. I am so much happier than I was in my twenties. I am only 36. It is pretty young. My kids are getting into the teen years and although that is a little nerve wracking I can handle it so much more than when I was in the baby years.

I have to admit that these insults are piling up and it is getting me starting on thinking of another book I'd like to write. Perhaps the ten worst things to say to another woman!!! Until then Botox & Lipo anyone?!?!?!

Completely and Utterly Alone...

Yes, that is what I am! I am completely and utterly alone for the first time in nearly five months. Now, before you jump to conclusions Don is taking a nap in the other room, the kids have just finished their homework and my dinner is smelling very nice in the oven. i am not in most senses alone, but most of you know that I have been working fairly diligently on my novel that started approximately five long months ago. I have worked day and night and sometimes through the night to get it going. Only one person has challenged herself to see if she could live through the boredom and I have delivered the final half that she had not read yet. Is it all over with? Oh no!!! I have plenty of re-writes to do, but this is my scariest moment...letting people outside my own mind read it. I reach anxiety attack levels unheard of by anyone else. So, we shall see how it all goes. I am giving copies to all of those in my writing group on Thursday night and then I will hide in the little cave of my mind and await their responses. If you see me in the corner hyperventilating while waiting for responses then you will know why. it turned out to be a massive 176 pages, which honestly does not sound like a lot until I actually printed them off. Amazing!!!

Well all, wish me luck!!!

Girl's Go Nuts For Wrangler Butts!!!

OK!!!! Just because nobody believed I would put that topic on my blog here it is!!! As most of you know we run our own General Store. We have a little bit of everything (animal feed, hay, horse tack, cowboy boots, ropes, spurs, belt buckles the size of a dinner plate, cattle prods for waking up your husband on time for church,and yes even Wranglers).

Today was a huge day for us. Don and I ran our booties off trying to satisfy all the Christmas shopping needs. I sold so many pairs of Wranglers to our female customers that you would not believe. Now, I have to say, the best thing about the country people is that they have a very wicked sense of humor, which suits me very well. We enjoy everyone that comes in. I get to spend all day talking to people and then I get to take their money. Sounds like the best job in the world to me!!! Anyway, we had fun with them today. We ran from one thing to another being only able to sit down for about 5 minutes all day. With the slow shopping season so far we were thankful to be keeping busy. So, when a friend stopped by today and asked if we wanted to meet them out for pizza after work I as thrilled because that meant that I did not have to cook. Now, that my friends, is some serious Christmas magic!!!!

Of course as for the title of this post I have to tell you that if y'all have never seen a cowboy wearing a pair of wranglers then ladies I have to say that you are missing out on something!!! No jeans can do what a nice pair of wranglers can for a guy.

TIme Out

OK! So, I went out for a Relief Society thing. I have had a problem wanting to do anything with Relief Society since my last ward. I had such a horrible experience in the RS presidency that I had no desire ever to go back to RS and even church for that matter. It was amazing to me that one woman could poison my heart on something that should wonderful to me. I have figured out why I feel that way and acknowledged it, but I am still left with that blah feeling. I also have a difficult time in group situations because #1 I feel like a complete and total social dork. I don't feel confident like most of the women in our ward when it comes to social situations. And then there is good ol' #2 In group situations I have a tough time hearing when there is a lot of background noise. Yes, I should truly go and get my hearing checked, but quite honestly I am only 36 years old. I don't want to think that i need a hearing aid yet!!!!

Anyway, I made a plan to attend with a friend. I know myself. I will plan on going until the very last minute and then just decide to call it off. This time I couldn't call it off since I was going with my friend. What I didn't know is that my friend truly felt the same way. We made it though and as we made our way from one house to the next I truly had a good time. the seed has been planted to regrow my love for RS. Someday I will love it. Until then, I will just try to see this all through.

What to do with a "soon to be" teen?!

Ok! I am officially feeling old as I realized my oldest daughter Corinna will be turning into a dreaded TEENAGER!!!!! What have I done to deserve this torture?!?! Well, that is what most parents say when their kids reach this point. I am of another opinion though. Truly I was not in my best senses when the kids were babies. I am not too fond of the lack of sleep, although i hear there are a lot of sleepless nights with teens too. I totally loved the day when the kids learned to make their own cereal in the morning. that was a great moment in my life. Now, here I am going from life manager to counselor. I can encourage my little girl to do things that are important, but at the same time trying to force a teen to do anything is like nailing jello to a tree. I have learned that you can counsel your child to do something but the harder you try to push them the harder they push the other direction.

My beautiful girl has a lot of enthusiasm and is a carbon copy of me when I was her age personality-wise. She is far better looking than the gangly kid I was. However, that is neither here nor there. She loves to spend time with her friends at church and loves going to mutual. She went to Girl's Camp and told me after the long week there that she had found her testimony. She is concentrating on her grades because she has a desire to attend BYU. She does get a bit over emotional at times when I explain to her that her hormones are out of whack. She then takes a second to calm herself down before we move on to finish our talk. So, I am looking forward to her being a teen as she is already a really cool kid. Now, when Molly hits...I think I will need Valium...we'll deal with that later though!!!!

The True Reason For Christmas

We decided to take Family Home Evening and spend our time up at the temple. I love to go see the lights on Monday because there aren't as many people crowding and we get a more sacred feeling for the kids. It is interesting to hear their comments as we go. I remember hearing Molly say to me: "Mom, it must cool for all those people who get to live near the temple and see it lit up all the time?" I can see glimpses of how much the church truly means to my children. we were sitting in front of the Christus in the visitor's center when all three kids plus me took pictures. It was funny to see that all four pictures of the same statue were all completely different. Corinna focused more on his face. Molly wanted his hands and face because it showed the nail prints in his hands. Bryan chose the head to toe shot because he wanted to remember all of the things Jesus did not just part so he wanted the whole picture. I thought I would print them off and put them in their stockings to remember that night. Maybe framed if I get the chance. We shall see!!! We also were blessed to see an original printing of the Book of Mormon from 1830. Allan Coates' name was inscribed on the inside and was given to him by Joseph Smith. I am assuming that Joseph wrote his name on the inside. It was very neat for the kids to see just how old it truly was and how special it was. I am grateful for our side trips on Family Home Evening where the season of Christmas can become a truly beautiful season. Merry Christmas to all!!!

Closing the laptop...

I had to close my precious laptop late the other night nearly in tears because of what I had just done. No, I did not miss the latest big sale at my favorite store, but instead I drew to an end the writing of my first novel. Ethan and Ari have been my constant companions throughout the last few months of my life here. They have whispered bin my ear things they wanted to say and how they wanted to say them. I have finished the writing process and now throw myself directly into the never ending re-writes. Someday I will finish and then what will I do with all my time. No worries. i am getting whisperings from Ari and Ethan on new adventures they are lined up to take, but I am willing to set them down for a season and write a short story about another couple that have been waiting patiently. We shall see what happens from there. I have not yet decided, but I think once all is finished and the manuscripts start heading out with publishers then I will take a break and work on my girls' quilts that we wanted to make. So much to do and so little time. For now the rain clouds bring about my mood of sadness. I will miss my friends' adventures and their companionship, but even friends need a bit of a vacation!!!!