Friday, March 27, 2009


I find it hard to write today. As I drove home from dropping the kids off at school I watched two gentlemen standing at the intersection holding two very large American flags...glorious. Next to them a fire truck sat with its lights flashing for all to see as the firemen stood at attention for a man they more than likely never met. Four police officers are being laid to rest today, slain last week in a traffic stop. Four families hearts ache and what touching tributes to each and every men have been given. My heart is full and I pray for their families with tears in my eyes. I knew I shouldn't have worn mascara today.

Tonight my eternal hubby and I will travel to a place of peace, a place of serenity and a place where angels stand guard against the stresses and evils of the world. We never made it last week. Too much was happening and we couldn't cope...which of course means we needed to be there more than anything. Tonight is the night. My heart is filled with prayers and emotions boiling over. I need to feel that peace even my children recognize when they attend to do baptisms for the dead. I will more than likely cry more than any child in the world today, but in the end as I step out the doors to face the real world again, my spiritual battery will be charged. I will be able to stand against the winds that howl and know I am not alone.

The funny thing is...I am not alone now. In the past days I have had loving messages from my blogging friends left for me to encourage and inspire. I read Nie Nie and become inspired by her own struggles. My precious Laurels, so full of wisdom at their age, have supported and strengthened me. Friends from far away send loving e-mails filling my heart with happiness instead of distress. A dear friend stopped by last night and took the time to share his love with us, to know that we are indeed in his heart.

So dear friends, though my future feels as if I am walking in the fog unable to see more than a step ahead of where I walk you can see why hope is always in my heart. I am walking in faith, not by sight. I have faith in my Heavenly Father that the sale will happen. We are not seeking to get rich off the sale. We are simply seeking to unload the property, pay our agent and have enough extra money to get us to our destination and have time to find jobs. We have had two different groups for a total of six people checking out the property this week alone. I pray more come. I pray more calls come into the agent and that soon we will be able to sell and move on. Until then, more prayers will be said, more hearts poured out, more faith to be grown.


Cynthia said...

Tammy, that was such a beautiful post. I am so touched and inspired by your strength in adversity. I have my own struggles right now and I needed to hear that.

Thank you for sharing. I have tears in my eyes. May the Lord show you the path you need to take and guide you.

Jen said...

You, too, are an inspiration to us all!