Friday, March 13, 2009

It happened...


Normally I stand as the mountains, majestic, strong against the winds that howl and the rains the fall. I bend not to falling snow or any other of the minutest discomforts. I am a strong person, Heavenly Father has made me this way.
And then it happened...
Slowly, erosion from the outside world causes me to crumble until my entire life rains down in a free for all rockslide. It wipes out everything in its pathway. And now here I am parts of me lying everywhere...not literally please ;). However, it is in these times and these situations I remember who I am and why I am here. It takes a rockslide for me to realize that I am too strong and I need to pull back and I need to look towards my Father in Heaven.
After my crumbling I read my scriptures. Not quite randomly as I have not read on my own in some time. It was like coming back to an old friend. I looked down where I left off several months ago in my personal studies and my answer was there staring me in the face:
1 Nephi 7:12-13
"Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith unto him? Wherefore, let us be faithful unto him.
And if it so be that we are faithful to him, we shall obtain the land of promise;"
I am ready to finally put that scripture to the test...my land of promise is Texas...my heart is full and my desires are pure. I am putting my trust in Him and all the faith in my being will be placed in his capable hands.
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As an afterthought...I really am all right. I was reading scriptures after work...after many prayers and it started to make all the sense in the world and I am trying very hard to officially let go. I am putting my faith in the Lord...The pain you feel in trials such as this is but a blink in the eternal perspective. I'll make it through it all!!! I promise!!!

4 comments:

Cynthia said...

I am so sorry for the pain that accompanies that rockslide. I hope that you'll be able to someday look back from that 'happy place' and understand all the hows and whys. And may your suffering until that time be SHORT!

:Jan the crazy lady: said...

Tammy you are strong and I know that you will pull yourself up that mountain again. I am glad you found that scripture.

Take care of yourself.

Ninny said...

I have to come to realize rockslides are necessary. I have a promised land too, but it is not Alaska. The hardest part for me is if my promised land is not the one Heavenly Father has designated for me. Letting go is hard. Especially when we want His will for us and then find out our will is not His.
I am so glad you found solace in the scriptures. I am headed there right now.

Liz R. said...

rob and i are going through our own little landslide and have found ourselves fasting every sunday for the past month or so - with an unknowing end - until things are better. what i originally thought we were fasting for (which will hopefully still happen) has become something else, and has made me wonder that if all that is happening is the lords way of telling us that we need to be more faithful. we have probably been told before, but we apparently just weren't listening! we are now though - i hope ; )