Sunday, December 13, 2009

Dear Father...

Dear Father...

Today I watched, chained to my desk for work, as my family each kissed me good-bye on their way to church. My heart was so full for gratitude for all that you have done for us. So, here are my thanks:

Thank you for allowing me to have three children in three years.
-Though I cried the day I found out I was expecting my third in three years and struggled with depression during those early years to the point where I've blocked out most of my children's toddler years. I didn't have the knowledge you had of the future. You were right. During this latest trial they shouldered the worry, the pain and stress like champions. They refuse to whine about our lot in life and never ask for anything they don't need. They sing happily and hold strong to the gospel and have become and example of pillars of strength for me. I feel so blessed to be their mother.

Thank you for allowing me the blessing of losing everything.
-Yes, I did day a blessing. You've given me what my heart desired, what I wished for as a child. While other little girls dreamed of doctors or lawyers I chose a man who would love me with all his heart and be loyal and my best friend. I prayed for a man to take care of me and protect me and accept me for the crazy person I've always been. With my husband you've guided me to I can survive anything. Losing everything, it gave me the opportunity to see what was truly important. It is just stuff, the only thing important to me...was my family and friends.

Thank you for the blessing of friends.
-During the easy times in our lives we go out and have a great time with friends, but when the hard times hit and you are no longer the rock you normally are it is when friends count the most. To have a friend who would call because the message you left didn't sound right. To have friends who threw an absolutely beautiful going away party forgoeing the larger parties and keeping it small to ease my anxieties about being the center of attention.

And Most Especially....Thank You for the blessing of my Family.
To my family who helped calm me during my times of stress. To those who helped tear down walls and remove nails in planks of over 3500 feet of planks. To those who took out for a final going away dinner. Those who supported me during my garage sales. Those who offered shelter if we couldn't move fast enough. Those who gave my children candy for the drive halfway across the nation and gave me earplugs and aspirin to take care of my needs. It was truly a laugh I needed.

And the most important thing I am thankful for is you.

It is your eyes I've learned to trust,
Your hand I've learned to hold,
Your shoulder I leaned on,
Your legs to carry me when I couldn't even carry myself,
Your eyes which cried for me when I could muster no more tears
And your heart, for a Father to allow me to learn these lessons and struggle
I know you love me and my family.

Love,
Tammy

5 comments:

Leslie said...

Great post my friend!

Momza said...

Amen.

Motherboard said...

That was simply beautiful! You should submit it to mormon mommy blogs and see if they would post it.

H.K. said...

I really loved reading this-perfect letter!

Anonymous said...

Yep, you got it!! I completely understand. Love you and miss you
Christine