Never Alone!!!

last night I couldn't sleep. My insomnia took over and I sat here in my comfy chair until nearly 2am. I then jumped into bed bound and determined to get "some" sleep before conference began. I did. of course I slept a bit too well and forgot my cell phone, which doubles as my alarm clock, was in the living room. The alarm didn't go off. Instead I slept until I heard the kids...entirely across the house screaming and playing. That didn't deter me. my body was quite content to shut out my children and sleep on. The Lord was not satisfied and reached out to my neighbor and receive his aid to help wake us up to watch a particular talk seemed destined for just us.

At 9:44am...I know...bad LDS mom!!!...we awoke to the sounds of our children screaming in laughter and our neighbors very loud mariachi music. Our neighbor is a very nice hispanic man who doesn't speak english...we don't talk much. needless to say we received that message and pushed the button to sit up in bed...I love my bed...and turned on general conference. I am not kidding you that once the tv clicked on the music stopped and the laughter died down. What was being said was meant for our ears and I loved it. Looking around my house I realized...the coushes we have...are simply couches. The tables we own are simply tables. The mirrors we own...are simply mirrors. Everything we own are simply objects...they mean nothing. Though there are some with emotional attachment I will not part with...A solid oak cradle my father created for each one of his children when his grandchildren were on the way. However all in all...they are simply useless objects used to beautify a home.

The message was clear. I was to downsize and remove many of the items that clutter my home and find new homes for them gaining a little extra oney in the process. My head rushed in with different items I could sell in a garage sale. I actually have a bathroom sink/cabinet still in the original boxing as I haven't taken the chance to install it. Why do I have these items?! I feel a garage sale and craigs list coming on!!! I can purge myself of the items I don't want or need. What a fun time it will be to clean my house around me. I am excited and thrilled!!! It will most definitely be a good thing!!!

I can hardly wait for the move to come. I can hardly wait to jump feet first into the unknown. I am grateful for my Heavenly Father's guidance and helping me overcome the darkness that filled my eyes for the past couple days. There is now sun shining brightly from them....and I know that deliverance is nigh.

When life closes a door...

We've all heard the saying when the Lord closes a door he opens a window. At least I'm somewhat sure anyway. What we don't always realize is while we are searching for that open window he also turns on the radio so we can hear the voices of friends, family or even complete strangers cheering us on and helping us to find the location of said window.

So, dear friends, Today I look towards my radio and say thank you to my favorite broadcasters. Many times, it is hard for a person to make it through different trials, but it would be harder to be alone. I turn first to my lord and Savior Jesus Christ that He may share my yoke. I find as we take each step bearing the burden together we are not alone. Around me are friends with hands slid under my half of the yoke lifting a small portion of that burden from my shoulders making my portion of the burden even lighter. Sometimes, I can't even feel the burden on my shoulders.

Thank you all for your support. Thank you all for your friendship. Most of all thank you for helping lift the yoke from my shoulders and making each step easier

Confessions of an angry businesswoman...

You all know how I feel. I've plastered it across the blog enough. We are preparing to close shop. There really is only so long we can stare at each other while just making enough to pay the PGE bill. As for me, I am tired. I am tired and worn out emotionally and it is time to shake off the dust and start rebuilding the life we once had. No, I am not going to realize my dream of being a stay at home mother...not for a little while anyway. Instead I will jump back out into the workforce and make a difference somewhere, somehow.

Yesterday we worked on our resumes and today I sent them out across the net plastering inboxes of with my smiling face. I wasn't truly picky about what I am going to do. There are so many wonderful opportunities everywhere and I am looking forward to belonging somewhere. I hope and pray I can find my way somewhere. There are so many opportunities I can hardly wait!!! To be honest, I could even scoop the whale poop out of the tanks of the killer whales...A dream job to be sure. I love aquatic animals...especially dolphins and orcas.

So, yes, it sucks that my entire life is uprooted,I have to pack my belongings again and land somewhere I am unsure of, but at the same time...change is exciting!!! Waiting for us are family and an old friend from high school. Waiting for us are new places and faces. I can hardly wait to go!!!

Little Wonders...

A friend some time ago mentioned this song to me and I have taken it to be my personal trials song. It encourages me to keep pushing on through the trials and pains of everyday life. Enjoy.

Are we there yet?

I feel like I did when I was younger. I remember how my parent would announce we would be leaving on a family vacation and I was excited. The destination didn't matter too much to me...unless it was Disneyland. I mean really, who doesn't LOVE Disneyland!??! Oh and I'd like to invite anyone who doesn't share my love of Disney to keep it to themselves as I will more or less snap...too many trials here my friends.





Anyhoo, I remember climbing into the car and watching the lights go by from my window. As a child it was always so exciting. More often than not I would be the one screaming...Are we there yet? Are we there yet?!





It is this particular moment I find myself doing the same thing. "Lord, Are we there yet?" I want to scream, but as of yet I have refrained. However, He sees my heart and has more than likely seen what I am feeling. Needless to say we are still here. Yesterday I spent a few minutes showing a couple of gentlemen the property. They want to build a gas station here. I believe they would do well and I pray it works. The older gentleman explained that as long as the city would allow him to put gas tanks in front of the store he was ready to buy. A lump formed in my neck. Hu-WHAT did her say?!?!





The problem is...I don't believe him. I believe in the Lord. Men are born to weakness and so I find myself not exactly believing what anyone tells me until I see it first hand. I've been disappointed too many times.

So I sit and wait. I tap the keys of the keyboard as I stare at the clock and time passes me by. Lord, are we there yet?