Self-Absorbed

That is what I am. Although on the outside I am watching people around slowly crumble under the strain of the crumbling economy, but secretly my heart pounds in worry for my family and eventually myself. Yes, I have been all about me. Why not? It seems my world is crumbling inside and out. I have our yearly tax season beating upon me, our lack of customer enthusiasm has been slowly causing worry lines to march across my face, the pump on our swimming pool decided to die (did you know that it is a law that your pool must be working at the point of the sale of the property), I am giving a talk on Sunday (one of my biggest fears in the world, although being the queen of the drama geeks put me on stage acting like a loon is normal for me) and I am planning on fasting tomorrow (I don't do fasts well).

Now, onto the good news....we had customers today that learned we were starting to bulk up and that hay is on the way. We have the most incredible pool guy you have ever seen. he was able to locate a pump that will cost a mere $400 instead of the new $2000 units that are soon to be required when pumps go out. I love you Super Ron!!! My talk is written, but I found out for a case a Snickers I could get someone else's name put into the program as the speaker. As for the fast....I figure it is all in the faith you put into it. This week I have been sufficiently humbled and I am truly grateful that I can serve the youth in the temple tomorrow and even more thankful that my kids totally love going to the temple. By August we should have our entire family be able to go and do temple work together. How fun does that sound?! I only pray that some clarity will be coming regarding the sale of the store. I know it is coming soon. I truly feel it in my very being. I trust Heavenly Father and I thank Him for everything He has done. This is an incredible learning experience and I am grateful for it. I know, I sound like a sick puppy. I am truly thankful for my trials. Let me give you an example: So far in my life:

* I married a man when not all of the family was happy....he is my heart and the love of my life.

*I could not birth my first child normal....I had a c-section where they found a cyst the size of a grapefruit on my ovary. I followed that with a c-section every year making it three babies in three years....no wonder my doctor said no more.

*We've lived on $25 a week for groceries...I can't wait to start it again. besides, living humbly gave me so many incredible blessings and experiences.

*I made it through a newborn that had trouble breathing when she was born...Molly's still my baby even though she is 11 years old and looks more like a woman than a baby.

*I had to have surgery to remove my gall bladder during my 6th month of pregnancy...I really believe that's where Molly's curly hair came from

*my husband was missing on Mount hood up in Oregon for 9 hours...he was our stake's own lost handcart company and he was found...no he didn't find the ten lost tribes, thanks for asking. he survived the hypothermia and I didn't go into premature labor ...Molly again.

* our apartment building was on fire...Nothing was damaged in our apartment.

* hubby lost his job and we had to move in with my family...my parents earned many wonderful blessings for the long suffering they've endured...and of course the booger wall...no I am not telling you about that one. I think it's self explanatory.

*a child needing emergency surgery...Molly again...boy she's a troublemaker!!! She had an abcess behind her left cheekbone nearing her eye and brain. The doctor's believed it was going to cause her to lose her sight and brain damage...we learned faith as she was given a blessing. The next morning as they went in for the surgery...the abcess moved from behind her cheekbone to the front in her sinus cavity...thank you Heavenly Father!!!

So, with this trial I am re-learning humility. I am working on being meek. Most importantly I am trying to learn to focus on others instead of myself.

Re-Stocking....

Yesterday, we began the overwhelming feeling of restocking our store. With one small shipment, as was intended, we began to re-fill our shelves to throw ourselves into this war against the roller coaster of an economy. Alfalfa is going to be back in the barn, vet supplies are now back on the shelves, and tack will soon be tackled. It is an ever evolving trip for us, but like Jack Sparrow versus the Kraken we will stand strong, scream our loudest war cry and fight like there is no tomorrow. I like this feeling...it is empowering. I've found that our customers never gave up on us...we gave up on ourselves. We have gone from a store where customer service was at its highest to a place where we just didn't care anymore about the store simply because we knew we were selling. Boy was that a mistake. We need to care about the store...for now...if we are going to hold on and make it through until a sale happens. How do we go about it? Ancient chinese secret!!! Just kidding! It's as simple as putting the alfalfa in the barn. Simply put...alfalfa is a rarity at this time of year. It is hard to get your hands on, but I found some. Normally we have the barn fully stocked with it to hold us through until spring, when we bring in the fresh loads. Believe it or not, we will not have to call any customers to tell them. Once one of them actually sees it in the barn it will light up the Redneck hotline and people will tell their friends. Within a week it should be spread around our customers properly. It's like throwing 10 gallons of water on a bale of alfalfa...it will light up like wildfire!!!!

And you thought I was kidding!!! Yes, alfalfa will combust if soaked with water!!! not all hay will do that...simply alfalfa. Anyway, enough of a science lesson for you. I am simply happy to say that we are back!!!!

Attitude is Everything...

Today was a grim day at the store. We waited...and waited and waited for our non-existent customers to show up. Small business owners could tell you nightmare stories of their economic woes. I won't. It's not worth it. Whining and complaining are not the key so I am looking at the things I am grateful for.

*I am grateful for the silence--it allowed me to concentrate on part of the taxes I was preparing.

*I'm grateful for the time--my son and hubby tore down a large shelving unit that was broken beyond repair. Today my son learned how to work.

*I'm grateful that I was able to hone my skills in the game of hearts on the computer...bad news, the computer players still won.

*I'm grateful for the roof still over my head.

*I'm grateful for the the peace in my heart...everything is going to be all right.

*I'm grateful for the laughter...my son approached us yesterday with a list in hand of things he and his sisters would like from the grocery store to snack while they are on break from school...and the list was not bad...fish sticks...yogurt...muffins. Yahoo!!! I'm doing something right.

So, the fact that our sales did not equal over a hundred dollars could possibly cause a lump in our throats pretty much sucks, but at the same time there were things to be grateful for the entire day.

Yes, dear......whatever.

I have to let you know that my normally optimistic attitude has gone down the proverbial toilet today...therefor I am officially naming this as National "Whatever" Day!!!

Do you like this? This is hubby's new comforter. He apparently is tired of the nightly tug of war for the covers. Funny thing is...he always has the covers in the morning. So, off we went to Bass Pro Shop...his favorite store of all time for now. Once we got home and he laundered his sheets and blankets I asked him with the most serious face that I could muster: "Isn't it uncomfortable to sleep on all of those leaves, branches and bark?" He looked at me for a second and I burst out into laughter. It was jsut way too funny to me. I asked him how I would find him...he tends to wear a lot of camo...it goes with outdoorsman look apparently. Whatever.

Here is my happy hunter getting ready to head out for turkey/deer/rabbits/duck...again I say...whatever.

Pure Lovely Sleep!!!!

Yes, I slept...I slept the night...and day away. I fell asleep at 10pm and woke up the following evening at 5:30pm. for those of you counting it sounds like 19 1/2 hours of blissful sleep. OK! i confess I had to take a few potty breaks and I did have to wake up long enough to tell hubby I was not leaving the bed and heading off to church. I truly needed that day though because I am still trying to fight this dumb cold. I am fine though. Don't worry too much. I was awake in time enough to help my Molly through her latest migraine. She gets them when she doesn't get enough sleep. She handles them like a trooper. I tell you, I tip my hat to her. She recognizes it coming on and just lays down in an attempt to sleep it off. If that doesn't work she visits her porcelain buddy and lets it all out and then lays down. It's sad to say that this is something she is used to at only age 11. Honestly, I believe it is the result of the medication I had to take during my pregnancy for the gall bladder problems and surgery. I'll never know, but she is doing great today. For us at this house...sleep is the word of the day!!!