Why Do We ALWAYS Dwell on the Negative?!?!?

I'm so frustrated. I am normally a positive person. Nothing brings me down..WHY?! Because I struggle with depression, that's why!!! I have those same gloomy negative days everyone else experiences. In the end, I have to push any chance of a gloomy cloud away otherwise it gets very dark in my little mind.

So what's the problem?

I work with two of the biggest cranky women I've ever met. One is pregnant and all she does is complain about EVERYTHING. From the moment she punches the clock in the morning until she punches out at night. The same goes for the woman who serves as my boss. Her AC is connected with our General Manger's office AC. She doesn't like cold. So....from the moment she gets in I hear in a whiny voice: "I'm cold. Why is it so cold in here?!?!?!" It got so bad I even brought her a blanket because I was tired of hearing it. She puts it across her lap and still complains.

I am frustrated. I want to scream. I'm tired of the negativity. I've been trying to instill positive attitudes at work. I'm not giving up....I'm just whining....Oh great!!! I'm morphing into them!!!
Grrrrr!!!!

Time for an attitude of gratitude!!!

10 Memories that Make Me Smile:

1. My youngest girl toddling into the pond at the Portland Oregon Temple.
2. The look on my oldest daughter's face the day she found out she was accepted to BYU
3. My tiny son when he caught his first froggy for his daddy
4. The smile on my daughter's face when we were ready to board our flight to Utah...BYU Bound.
5. The day my son passed the sacrament for the first time
6. Listening to my oldest reading her Patriarchal Blessing on the phone from college to me (we never could schedule it at home)
7. The look on my Hubby's face when he was offered a position as Head Custodian and given his own school
8. The day I changed into my current position at work.
9. The day Hubby and I got sealed for time and all eternity.
10. The births of all three of my children.


Yup....I think I'm in a  good place now!

What Was I Thinking?!?!?!?

Seriously, someone explain to me what I was thinking!!!! I agreed to this as it was our outing for our 21st anniversary. A certain guilt follows me as I don't really think too much about anniversaries. Yes, I adore Hubby. Yes, I am thrilled to celebrate, but why can't we just celebrate the big ones!!!!

Well, with a couple of twenties in hand we went out to explore. This place is about an hour from our house. It's on the opposite side of San Antonio. It's actually a pretty cool little place. The best part...I didn't have to pay at all!!! Being a Certified Tourism Ambassador here in SA I occasionally get some discounts and freebies. Therefore I cashed in. Hubby only paid $20. Not bad if you ask me.

My biggest mistake....I let hubby decide which tour we should go on. He wanted the Hidden Caverns tour. I was fine with that. 185 steps down doesn't really sound too bad when you think about it quickly. BUT when you find out it is 3/4 of a mile down under the ground....HOLY MOLY!!!! It is the equivalent of 18 stories down. Again...it doesn't sound to bad to me. That's only 5 more floors than that hotel I work at. To me, it sounded doable.

Then I realized.....

Eventually, I would have to come back up.

GASP!!! Too late...I was already at the bottom!!

Updates

So much time has passed. I feel guilt...but not too much. I've been paying attention to my family...go figure. Most of all I've been missing my Rinni, my girl, my BYU Girl.

First and foremost, it was literally the best and the worst trip of my life. This kid who crept into my heart the day I learned I was pregnant has tortured me beyond even what she knows...but she will someday. I sobbed uncontrollably as I watched this daughter of mine who was willing to walk out of my everyday life. How could she?!?!?!?!

She did. And she has set up her room. She's gone to dances. She's gone to parties. She's joined the Residential Housing Association as their publicity officer. She's gone to SLC without me and gone with her fellow RHA peeps. SHe's gone to school. She's endured a cold. She interviewed with her bishop and got her temple recommend. She's received her new calling. She helped her RHA peeps with the homecoming float and today she rode in the homecoming parade. She freaked when a boy flirted with her. She has gone to get her Patriarchal Blessing since all of our schedules were a mess in trying to get her there. She's been responsible for her finances and watches her money like a hawk. She even went into the dentist for a root canal all on her own.

My baby grew up...when I wasn't looking. I'm proud of the young woman she has become. She is INCREDIBLE! I love her and I am so proud to be her earthly mother.

My Son, Sigh, has opted to go into the Marine Reserves. He will go off to boot camp and will return home in late September. In his own words he is over senior year and just wants to get going with his life. After all these years. he owes me a graduation.

My little Molly has grown into a wonderful young woman and I am truly proud of her for standing up to even her own friends...even if it means ending a friendship. She's a good kid.

Hubby has opened his school and now preps for the dedication. He saved a little girl from choking a few days ago and I know his principal is grateful for his actions. He had to do the Heimlich maneuver on this scared young lady. It's been a blessing for him to be there.

Me? I've endured Book of Mormon the Musical staying with us at my hotel. I will say most of the performers were wonderful young men, but there were enough of the others that nearly drove me insane. My boss was so thrilled with how I handled them especially with my faith being tested and tried....he has offered to purchase two tickets to Wicked which is coming next March.