Most of you know I've been working my life away in an attempt to get our family's lives back on track. What you may not know is with my employment I've not been able to set a foot inside church since last October.
As a Convert, a badge burned into my heart forever, I've learned what life is like without a testimony and grasping in the dark to find a source of light. 18 1/2 years ago I made the choice to forgo my worldly ways and draw closer to Christ, beginning my journey along the straight and narrow path. My testimony is strong and does not waver.
I've formed a plan to get me back to church, but I have to wait for the position to open. Plain and simple. I'll work my rear end off until the position opens and I will move on over to the other group...if, of course, I get the position.
One of the hardships of having one car in a family is making sure our kids can get to all of their activities and get us to work when we need it. Today was one of those days. Hubby had to be at work by 8am, Bryan needed to be at his school at 8:30am for a field trip, Molly needed to be at the church at 9am for road show rehearsal and somehow we needed to make it happen since we are talking needing to be 3 places at once basically.
Hubby dropped Bryan and I off at the market near his school at 7am where I treated him to a doughnut and chocolate milk. We waited at the school until his teacher arrived and students began to gather. At the same time I left my girls left the apartment 5 miles away to walk to church, only a mile or so from our home. I caught the bus for a couple miles and jumped off when we neared the church. I stopped for a moment at the church to make sure my girls made it safely. I spent approximately one minute in the church before completing the final mile push home.
I thought back to my previous life, where we attended church together as a family every Sunday...there was nothing stopping us. I remember attending mutual every wednesday and enjoying my time with the laurels I was called to serve. My life was centered around the church. My children's lives were centered around the church. Such a drastic change from where we are now.
As I walked away from the beautiful red brick building my heart was filled. Tears filled my eyes as I knew Heavenly Father had rushed a recharge to my very soul. I know He cares for me and understands my struggles. I know He sees my heart and supports me with His Heavenly hands when I feel I can't stand any longer. He is there for all of us, but I know today, in that one minute He was there to share his heart with me. Even now, I tear up thinking about it.
It's amazing to me how He is always there, but do we look? Do we keep our eyes and hearts open to His appearances and helping hands in our lives? Or do we continue to walk along with blinders. For myself, though i knew He was understanding and loving me through my struggles I donned the blinders focusing on what I needed to be doing to get my family to where they need to be.
Today, I challenge you all to take the blinders off. Open your eyes. Open your heart and feel His warmth. Feels His arms encircled around you. Feels His heart open unto you.
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