Faith, I believe, is a very hard trait to refine. You can have faith in others, that may or may not let you down. You can have faith of the sun rising and know it will rise...or will it? You can have faith in your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, but once you know....knowing with every fiber of your being...is it faith at all?
I've tested my faith this week. I called Heavenly Father with every ounce of my being. My desire to return back to church has come full circle. I am done playing the missing Mom at church. I am done not knowing anyone at church. Most of all I am done receiving the looks from some of the sisters in the ward which adds up to them thinking I am inactive. Am I taking it to heart? No. Does it bother me? Perhaps a smidge. It reminds me often not to make judgements on anyone as we don't know their circumstances.
So...when the bidding day came up for my job I requested each and every schedule that included Sunday off...including my 3:30pm- midnight shifts. Believe me, it's not my favorite shift in the world being that I have to get up at 5am every morning to prepare my oldest for seminary.
This morning, I received my schedule for next month....
3:30-Midnight
SIGH!!!!
So I put in for a shift change...having faith.
Nearly 6 hours later I received an e-mail agreeing to change my shift from the 3:30-midnight to....
Drum Roll Please....
11:30am-8pm
Still not my favorite, but I have Weekends off. I CAN GO TO CHURCH!!!!
Not only that, but hubby has been given a time slot for an interview with Amtrak on the 26th.
My faith is growing. My heart is full and my children are smiling...
3 comments:
Tammy, thanks for strengthening my faith. - Jennie H.
I really loved reading this and I'm happy that you're able to go to church. When I was released from primary in January, it was very hard for me to stay the third hour of Relief Society. I'm not a big social person and I feel more comfortable with primary or the youth. Going home early after sacrament wasn't a great example for my son and I enjoyed the lessons. It's still uncomfortable being in R.S. and I struggle having to stay for all 3 hours, but with each class I learn something that gets me through the week.
I'm the same way H.K. Attending Relief Society is my most uncomfortable part of the block. My favorite place to be is with the young women. Their energy is incredible!!!
Post a Comment